It’s hard for a die-hard Huggalo like me to imagine that anyone needed further proof that Ryan Gosling is a human rainbow wrapped in kitten fur and sprinkled with confectioner’s sugar, but in case you don’t believe that the street fight he broke up went down the way everyone says it did, there’s a new interview with the witness to prove it. The guys from OMGICU caught up with Valerie, the girl who filmed the original video, and asked for her account of the incident.
Basically, what happened was that the black dude on the right is a painter who hangs out at Astor Place and St. Marks every day selling paintings. The day of the incident (which was June 24th, not Saturday, as US Weekly and others reported), the older white guy in glasses came by and snagged a painting without paying. The painter chased him down and grabbed him in the middle of the street and they started to scuffle. That’s when, out of nowhere, Baby Goose showed up like a ray of pure maple syrup from the heavens and sweetened everyone’s pancakes.
“He really did save the day. When at the end, I by mistake turned the camera off, Ryan took [the painter] to the corner and asked him what happened. And this guy explained to him, this guy stole my painting. And so [Baby Goose] said, “Well, how can we fix this? How much is the painting?”
And he said, well it’s ten dollars. So he dug into his wallet, took out a 20, gave it to the guy, and said, ‘Does this settle his debt now?’ And he said yeah. And they stopped fighting and everything was alright. [...] People are saying it was staged — it was not staged. He did that out of the kindness of his heart.”
Hey, girl. I was going to use this money to buy candy, but you know what’s sweeter? Friendship.
Hey girl, I know a guy who’s perfect for you. His name is Andrew Jackson. [Thanks, Burnsy]
Hey girl, I supported the arts today. [Thanks, Danger]
Hey, girl. Momma always said, friendliness is next to Goslingness.
Hey, girl. Look what I found behind your ear! Haha, just kidding, girl, I could never lie to you. It was in my pocket. But you can have it.
Hey, girl. Aren’t black people scary? Try giving him some money.
Hey, girl. I didn’t say that last thing, it was my evil twin, Bizarro Goose. He’s always trying to make me look bad. He has a soul patch. I still love him though. Haha, family!
(here’s the interview, in case you feel like watching it, which I wouldn’t recommend)
[via Gothamist]
Adds Robopanda:
Hey girl, would you call me gouache if I said you look gesso good tonight?
Hey girl, this canvas isn’t gallery wrapped but that’s okay because I was planning to frame it with hugs.
Hey girl, if I told you I didn’t like Mondrian woul’De Stijl like me?


Hey, guy. It’s better to have a brush with paint on it instead of a brush with the law.
Typically, Baby Goose only utilizes a bartering system consisting of hugs and candy. He carries various currencies on him in case he ever runs into a conflict too harsh for the soft smile solution.
Hey girl, you know the only thing better than talkin’ ’bout my feelings? Tyin’ this toddler’s shoe and talkin’ ’bout your feelings. Candy…?
oh, hey, Valerie! umm… boobs?
FACT: if you steal something and Baby Goose is around, he will pay for it!
*brakes into nearest BMW dealership*
Those guys need to learn how to use their greenscreen. It’s distracting from how boring their show is.
Hey girl, my favorite artists are Picbutto and Boobian. Even beauty can’t make me cuss!
Hey girl, I bought you this ting. It was a painting but I took out the “pain.”
/serious
I really don’t like how he basically rewarded the old guy for stealing a painting. It’s cool that he gave the painter $20 and everything, but that old guy is still bullshit.
Hey girl, I don’t usually buy art, because you’re the only priceless work of art I need.
OMGICA shiny weirdo that is freaking me out
Hey girl, I’d have broken that scuffle up earlier, but I mistook that tackle as a running hug
Hey girl, do you call them wife beaters or guinea tees? I think those names are disgusting, girl. Let’s grab some pasta and volunteer at the woman’s shelter.
Hey girl, this old man’s white-washing a fence so he learns stealing is wrong. I’m doing it ’cause I love painting and the outdoors!
Hey girl, let’s get in my miniVan and Gogh on a picnic. Haha I love you, post-Impressionist wordplay.
Hey girl, I heard you like rainbows and kittens, so I invented the internet for you.
Her girl, I don’t know why that old Jewish dude brought Stephen Dorff to watch his back either.
Hey girl, found a $20 behind your ear! I’d just buy Nerd Ropes with it anyway.
Hey girl, I love striped shirts because it’s like the pattern is hugging me.
Hey, girl. I only gave that guy money because I ran out of Werther’s Originals 5 blocks ago.
dick farts, on all of you
Hugh Dornbush looks like if that down-syndrome looking kid from Two & a Half Men started using one of Joker’s Smylex products.