Kinobild Releasing just released the first poster for And They’re Off, starring the box office molten lava combo of Cheri Oteri and Sean Astin (GET THOSE NAMES ABOVE THE TITLE IMMEDIATELY!). And what better way to promote such a movie, I ask, than a poster in which Sean Astin leans casually on the hind quarters of a nine-foot tall thoroughbred while his feet hover mysteriously, majestically above the turf grass? Heck, I’m already sold. But then there’s that tagline.
“He was so far behind, he thought he was in first.”
I guess what you’re saying is, he’s kind of like the Rudy of horses.
[via ComingSoon]
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You could write the names Cheryl Hines and Jason Segal on this poster and I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.
RUDY CAN’T FAIL!
This looks like a half retarded reject chimp from ROTPOTA got a hold of Photoshop and made a fake movie poster.
Ace if that’s a reference to the restaurant, you’re wrong. Rudy’s sucks balls.
Anyway, whoever designed this poster should have their photoshop license revoked.
And they’re off…..the relevant actors list.
I half expected that Cheri Oteri tag to link to a sad trombone .wav file.
Really? Sean Astin? Seems like a role meant for Ed Furlong.
I refuse to believe you didn’t make this poster in Photoshop.
I know a girl who got kicked in the face by a horse. She lost a bunch of permanent teeth and her brain swelled so much that she almost died.
The point is, fuck horses.
Anybody that’s ever been around a horse knows that leaning up against their ass is a good way to get your leg kicked into a Theissman.
I think someone misread a note, those weren’t the tagline and title, those were the art department’s comments on the perspective.
I wouldn’t know, licsGrat, I’ve been drinking brew for breakfast for too long. I can only dream of doing the rom-com lean against a photoshopped horse’s hindquarters.
I could have sworn it was a Matthew McConaughey/SJP rom-com.
SHOPPED! SHOPPED! I can tell because of
the pixelshow that horse hasn’t kicked his leg up his ass and out his throat. And the pixels.The only way this poster could be better is if the title was something like “Glue in 60 Seconds.”
Man, this version of Equus looks dark as all hell.
Good thing race horses are such notoriously calm and even-tempered creatures.
All that ‘shop job needs to look totally asinine is a dog in a birthday hat.
I think Filmdrunk is currently in the running for the Guiness World Record for most Horse/SJP/Equus jokes in one week.
“He was so far up her behind, He thought he was gonna burst.”
I like how her right leg is missing. Fuck right legs.
I never realized from those hobbit movies, but Astin must be one tall motherfucker. His shoulder is leaning against the horse, behind the tail, yet his feet are at least a meter in front of it. Good thing he doesn’t stand up straight or he wouldn’t fit in the frame.
Unless of course it’s a very small horse. But that would make Cheery there a secret dwarf hook… well, jockey. Did I just inadvertently spoil a major plot twist?
Alcoholics Gratuitous … you might wanna check out this new band called The Clash
Somewhere Daniel Radicaliff is stark naked and slapping his dick on the horse’s ass in this poster because Sean is giving him the same look here as when he was doing it IRL during the filming of LOTR.
Wait, a terrible race horse and a lady jockey? Why, they’ll be the laughing stock of the racing world! They’ll never come from behind at the last moment and win based on heart and don’t-stop-believin’-ness!
Cheri Oteri is a striper’s name right? Why is there a striper in this?
@Patty
You should have warned Matthew Broderick.
Sonuvabeeatch! I not only fixed stripper, but added “ex-” to the last one. This new page update is working as well for me as the last one.
“Well, it’s a comedy, and in the climactic scene you’re in stirrups. Just trust me on this one, Cheri, it worked for Amy Poehler, it will work for you.”
Hey, I’m Althea.
This poster make sense, since i’ve always thought that Sean Astin was a piece of shit.
Sean Astin’s such a consistent loser, he had to eat the Seabiscuit.
I can’t wait until the horse loses the first race, and Ralph Cifaretto burns that piece of shit to death then Tony beats Ralph to death with kitchen appliances.
I seriously hope the entire movie was filmed like this: No one actor or set piece actually ever came in contact with another. Just for added fun, when you buy the (DIRECT TO) DVD, the disc has “Memorex” printed on it, with the title written in sharpie over top, and the jewel case (that’s right) has a crack in it
Bobcat Goldthwait knows what horse movies can do to your career.
If that horse lives, and I run out of glue to sniff… I swear…
Did anyone make a joke about Andy Serkis playing the role of “Horse” yet?…Fuckyes!
…and Andy Serkis as “Horse”
Seriously, though, this poster speaks to me. It says, “Hey, I’m a poster,” and then I’m all, “Oh shit, the crappy poster spoke to me.” I can be funnier than this sometimes, sort of.
Did you guys know you’re the only one’s I’ve ever seen comment here? So when I write things like “Hey, I’m Althea” you’d think I’d get a goddamned “WELCOME ALTHEA WE LOVE YOU ALREADY AND WE THINK YOUR COMIC AVATAR IS NICE AND BY THE WAY IT’S GOOD TO KNOW THAT THERE IS ANOTHER GIRL POSTING HERE BESIDES PATTY BOOTS.”
So, goddamn you, say ‘Hey’ or something.
I can’t wait for this horse trailer.
That’s just…a really horrible photoshop. And this is from a guy who sucks at photoshop. If I think it sucks then trust me…it sucks.
I didn’t mean it, of course. I’m not a girl at all.
Hey, Althea. It’s not that we’re unfriendly, most of us are just not very nice people. And forgive me for not taken your avatar as necessarily representative, I … I’ve been hurt before. That’s the last time I’ll trust a 28 year old doctor, mature and beautiful.
There’s no question in my mind that horse is in the process of kicking Sean Astin in the nuts. It will most likely be accompanied by a bell sound of some sort.
You just fucked everything up, Ace. It would have been way better if no one acknowledged me on this site, ever. My feelings would be sad always and I would constantly threaten suicide, then eventually shoot myself in the face but survive.
It’s Lois Lane, okay? The picture is supposedly Lois Lane.
anybody else spot the dick cloud in the back? well, sexy dick cloud is the horses dead brother, which sean astin owned. long story short, sean astin sucks horse dick.
I am also a girl, as Vince kindly pointed out in last week’s CotW. And by kindly, I mean he seemed shocked and horrified.
This one is definitely photoshopped. Look at it. All I’m sayin is, his arm’s not down and his hand’s not in his pocket, if you know what I mean.
Late80sRapStar – Ah, so that’s where it’s from. One of the Green Day guys has a restaurant called “Rudy’s Can’t Fail Cafe” and I never understood the meaning of the name. Thanks for the knowledge drop.
“Lil’ Sebastian is all grown up and now he’s *record scratch* a racehorse! First he’ll steal your heart, then he’ll steal the third leg of the quaddie…he’d fucking better, this voice over job pays dick all and I’ve got kids to feed. *ahem* Coming this Summer!”
Has anyone noticed that her arms and upper body are each longer than her legs? Is that Photoshop or some sort of dwarfism?
Good thing race horses are such notoriously calm and even-tempered creatures.I am a 26 years old nurse, young and beautiful. Now I am seeking an older gentle man who can give me real love , so i got a username Annababe2011 on—a’ge’l'es’s'da’te. C óM—it is the first and best club for y’ounger women and older men, or older women and younger men,to int’eract with each other. Maybe you wanna ch’eck it out or tell your friends.
rudy?? now where’s that theo. he’s in that stall man, justa shovellin’ and jivin man baaaaahhh
(* opens jello pudding pop, puts on hideous multi-colored sweater….then watches asian midget porn)
Awesome, yet another reason to hate the fuck out of Green Day! Thanks for raising my bile level licsGrat!