My poster for "Being Paul Blart"

Just days after I reported that Kevin James would soon be taking the shortest path to critical relevance, starring an indie (ish) drama about a retarded kid, word comes that he could soon be doing something EVEN MORE HIPSTER PANDERY! ThePlaylist got a hold of a script for Charlie Kaufman’s next movie, Frank and Francis, and they say it has a part in it written specifically for Blart I mean James. Assuming he agrees, he would play himself, Kevin James, “as the star of film-within-the-film, ‘Obese City.’” That actually sounds really awesome, but that could just be the grande soy chai talking.

We’ve managed to get our grubby hands on the script for Charlie Kaufman‘s latest, “Frank and Francis,” which has Jack Black, Nicolas Cage and Steve Carell already attached, and the Hollywood-set tale of a movie director feuding with a blogger has, in the script, a role for Kevin James—playing, in true Kaufman style, Kevin James, as the star of film-within-the-film “Obese City,” and then later as a presenter at the Academy Awards. Of course, the fact that he’s written into the script doesn’t mean that he’ll end up doing it. [ThePlaylist]

Not to get hyperbolic here, but if Kevin James agrees, I can say with 10,000% certainty that this would be the best thing he’s ever done. He should play a guy who discovers a service that can erase the painful memories of starring in movies about a fat guy who falls down a lot. But here’s the twist: after he erases the memories of his bad movies, people keep coming to him with fat-guy-falling-down scripts, and HE JUST KEEPS DOING THEM BECAUSE HE DOESN’T REMEMBER DOING THEM! (*BRAAAAAAAAAAAHMMM*) — I didn’t mean it was meta, that was just the sound of a Kevin James cheeseburger fart.