This is just your basic, impromptu, pick-up MMA fight that starts when a guy jumps into the pool at a Russian dolphin park. A six-way fist fight on the edge of a slippery dolphin pool, sure, just your average day in Russia. Strangely, the fight lasts until the 1:40 mark before the tall guy finally figures out that they should’ve been going shirts vs. skins. Good call, tall guy. Anyway, I guess what I’m trying to say is, I hope this is viral marketing for the Russian version of Dolphin Tale, because it looks awesome.
Either that or “Dolphin MMA” could become the logical successor to Whale Wars. Fun fact about Russian dolphins: They drink like fish!
[via Buzzfeed]
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Ray-Liotta-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/video-shia-labeouf-explains-alec-baldwin-feud-to-david-letterman-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/03/Scott-Steindorff6-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/lynne-ramsay-no-shows-first-day-of-jane-got-her-gun-150x150.jpg)
Malcolm Brenner didn’t appreciate his mailorder Russian bride being called a “slippery slut who’ll do anything for a fish”.
So in Russia you can jump into the pool at an aquatic show, fight security guards and not get tazed? They just turned the meaning of the word “Freedom” right around on us.
Malcolm J. Brenner, that is. Not to be confused with Malcolm K. Brenner, the respected scientist.
Whenever trouble starts at these events, it’s always with some douche in a “Flipper Didn’t Tap” shirt.
Dammit, Russia, you’re supposed to fight bears, not dolphins.
Haha, I love you, stereotypes based on Street Fighter.
How much of the dialog translates to, “COME AT ME, COMRADE?”
Every year to this day, the country holds a parade to honor the heroes of Doplhingrad and all of our comrades that fell… in the pool.
2 observations.
1. You can tell this is not in the US not only because they’re speaking Russian but also because there aren’t any fat people.
2. Security had their asses handed to them.
“Man, Echo has Flipper beat by a mile for best dolphin.”
“YOU TAKE THAT BACK YOU SON OF A BITCH!”
Lince, sensors indicate that dolphins are actually mammals and not fish…something something BLOWHOLE!
This never would have happened if Chuck Connors would have been there.
Glad to see Andre Orlovsky could find work as a Sea World security guard!
Why didn’t those guards just tap him on the shoulder? The Mighty Feklahr hears tell that can be SUPER EFFECTIVE!
The one security guy went down faster than ruyeas’ mom.
You positive this isn’t just a live feed of Russian Parliament?
“Ugh, I need this like I need a hole in the head.” – Dolph Fin, Aquatic Comic
“Dolphin net? More like Dolphin nyet.”
*taps mic with flipper*
*clears blowhole awkwardly, looks down at notepad*
“Oh, man. I’m dying up here. Literally.”
“You guys ever notice how manatees float like this, and black seals float like th-
“You suck!”
“Throw me a fish here, buddy. I’m doing the best I can. I’m not here to jump through hoops for you people.”
“Yes you are!”
“Man, fuck this. I’m out.”
*drops mic, slowly struggles to slide off stage*
Oh Russian Make-a-Wish Foundation, is there any vodka-fueled dream you WON’T make a reality?
So this has security guards, zookeepers and MMA fighting, and everyone keeps falling down? Is Paul Blart getting royalties?
In Russia Dolphin show watches you