In this new red-band trailer, Jonah Hill introduces his new film, The Sitter. It turns out, he’s lost so much weight that he can be like “F*ck it, I’m gonna wear a white shirt with horizontal stripes, Jonah Hill ain’t care!” Even more distressing, he cut off his Jew fro. COME ON, MAN! Between you, me, Danny McBride, Jesse Eisenberg, and Will Ferrel, we were just about to make the world safe for the be-pubeskulled. Oh, and f*ck Timberlake. Guy’s a traitor. Don’t even mention that name in front of me. (*spits on ground, crosses self*)
Anyway. Movie’s called “The Sitter,” (guess what it’s about!), it comes from director David Gordon Green (of Your Highness/Pineapple Express fame), and the trailer has lots of swearing at little kids, which is one of my favorite things. As long as none of them start giving wise-beyond-their-years love advice, I think we’re set.
Two things: Dear Hollywood Hair Stylists: I know you consider my kind subhuman, but blow-drying head pubes into that weird pompadour helmet Jonah Hill has on his head is just terrible on all fronts. Congratulations, now it looks like a grandma perm. Secondly, I was one of the few who actually really enjoyed Your Highness, but between that, Pineapple Express and this, this idea that we need action-movie gun fights and car chases in comedy films has to stop. It’s not badass, it’s just confusing. That being said… YAY, SAM ROCKWELL! MAKE HIM DANCE! MAKE HIM DANCE! MAKE HIM DANCE! (*pounds fists on coffee table*)