Jorts-ensconced taint enthusiast Kevin Smith recently announced that his final movie, Hit Somebody, based on the Warren Zevon song (co-written by Mitch Albom) about a hockey enforcer starring Stifler from American Pie, will be a two-parter, a la Twilight Breaking Dawn, or Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows. Because Smith says the source material was too much to cover in one film (keep in mind, it’s based on a song). At this point, I think it’s clear that Kevin Smith has fully completed the transition to creating works specifically for his own, hardcore fanbase, a la Twilight, or Insane Clown Posse. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I’m sure it’s nice work if you can get it. Probably much more fun than kowtowing to corporate f*ckheads all day.) Anyway, with that in mind, I thought Kevin Smith’s fans could use a unique, unifying identifier, a lá “Twihards,” or “Juggalos.” They’ve already gone far too long without one. So, can you help me #NameKevinSmithsFans? This is what we’ve got so far:

  • Jortists
  • Sycoshants
  • Clerkers
  • Silent Boobs
  • The Trench Coat Mafia
  • The Man Boob Mafia
  • ..And Shitheads
  • Girthers
  • Breathehards
  • Dilletaints
  • Seathogs
  • Flyhards
  • Dogmaniacs
  • Smodtards
  • Smodcastes
  • Whatnots (Whatnauts?)

Please submit your own in the comments. As Chareth says, Kevin Smith puts the “pie” in “pied piper.” (thanks to Burnsy and Chareth Cutestory for the help)