We interrupt your steady stream of relatively inconsequential posts to bring you this important bit of breaking news. Ashley Greene, star of the Twilight films and all-around pretty person, made a mojito. MTV has the details:
Greene said that she and her costar and offscreen BFF Kellan Lutz became a bit too food-happy once they found out there was a Whole Foods right around the corner from where they were staying while filming “Breaking Dawn.” Apparently the duo helped keep the grocery store in business by spending a lot of money during their time there.
“Me and Kellan get excited sometimes, and we’re like, ‘Let’s just buy everything! We’re going to cook every night.’ Not like we’re going to be at work, you know what I mean?” Greene said with a laugh.
She said the two of them made a lot of fish dishes, though she typically sticks to chicken. But Greene was most excited by the times they experimented with new recipes.
“I made my own homemade mojito one time, which was pretty interesting and awesome,” Greene admitted*.
More as this story develops.
*Just so we’re all clear on something here, “‘I made my own homemade mojito one time, which was pretty interesting and awesome,’ Greene admitted,” is my new favorite sentence. It’s got so many magical moving parts I don’t even know where to begin. Like, at first, my favorite part was how she said “homemade mojito” like it’s chicken noodle soup or a peach pie. Then I saw her describe making the mojito as “pretty interesting and awesome” and I was like, “Well now that’s my favorite part,” because she described making a fairly basic cocktail the same way you would a 3D documentary about roller coasters. But then I got to the end where the writer said “she admitted.” ADMITTED. As though Ashley Greene’s feelings on making a mojito were a point of contention. “Excuse me, Ashley? We have reports coming in that you think making mojitos is stupid and lame. Care to comment? What’s that? (*writing furiously in notepad*)… interesting… and… awesome. GOT IT!”
I want to marry that sentence and make babies with it and put the babies through twelve years of private school and four years of liberal arts college and then retire to some beachfront retiree community with it.


Haha, she has a boy’s name.
For the record, I would watch the shit out of that 3D roller coaster documentary I made up in this post.
if she got together with Bronan and made grilled cheese sandwiches they’d probably shit themselves with enthusiasm
Mojitos? What ever happened to making old fashioned drinks like jungle juice and hunch punch?
If I give her my recipe for the perfect Long Island Iced Tea do you think I could get a handy?
You mean you can combine lime, rum, club soda, simple syrup and mint IN YOUR OWN HOME?!
Oh my god, welcome to the future!
u make those babies and i’ll punch the baby off those babies
I’d muddle this broad’s mint leaves like nobody’s business, gnome sayin?
But Vince, she can make her own mojitos. That’s what the whole post was ab-…
Oh! You meant like sex! I get it now.
That bitch made a mojito. Bitches love makin’ mojitos.
Oh Ashley Greene, stop trying to be Mila Kunis already, just munch on her box and be done with it. Sheesh.
@Patty- “You mean you can combine lime, rum, club soda, simple syrup and mint IN YOUR OWN HOME?!
Oh my god, welcome to the future!”
I was really looking forward to the flying cars, but this is so much better.
Next on the menu, Mo Charlo’s patented Assblasters.
1. Empty half of a two-liter bottle of Squirt
2. Replace with tequila
3. Forget problems
Oh pretty girls, you really don’t have to do anything do you?
Awesome, Burnsy. Awesome.
Too much cynicism, guys. Clearly she grew the sugar cane, mint and limes herself.
She fermented most of the sugar cane into rum, aging it to perfection while leaving enough of the sugar cane to process into sugar for the syrup. Carbonated her own natural spring water. Blew the glass for her cup and whittled her own muddler out of wood from a sustainable forest initiative. I mean that’s the only logical reason to mention you made a homemade mojito. Anything less and you’d be a twat.