Casting America’s most blue-eyed WASP Bradley Cooper as the mixed-race goth icon in The Crow remake is one of the dumber ideas to come out of Hollywood, a town built on terrible ideas. Now Cooper is out, supposedly because of scheduling (though I prefer to think that he finally came to his handsome senses thanks to one of those Limitless pills). Now the actors being named as possible replacements are… Channing Tatum and Mark Wahlberg (who was basically C-Tates before C-Tates was C-Tates). Yes, I’m sure fans of The Crow will be delighted either way…

Bradley Cooper was to have played the title character but sources tell The Hollywood Reporter that he has now exited due to scheduling conflicts. Cooper has David O. Russell’s Silver Linings Playbook shooting this fall and then dives straight into Legendary’s Paradise Lost, which shoots first quarter next year…the exact time Relativity plans on making the high-priority Crow.
But akin to the project’s rock musician who is killed and resurrected [editor's note: no, not really like that at all...], two new names have surfaced as possible replacements: Channing Tatum and Mark Wahlberg. [THR]

They don’t say why those names are being mentioned or by whom, but if true, it sounds like this project has gone from WASP to whigger! And I think I speak for everyone here when I say that “From WASP to Whigger” would make an awesome reality show on VH-1 in which Channing Tatum takes a Northeastern blue blood and turns him into the white Flava-Flav of a Florida strip mall (with special guest Chet Haze!). Holy crap, thank God I’m already writing this down.