WEEKEND MOVIE GUIDE: Yes, Harry Potter is out this weekend. If you care at all, you already knew. Also on tap: Winnie the Pooh, a Bellflower screening in New York, and Monday’s HBO Documentary Series feature, Mann vs. Ford.
HARRY POTTER & THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART 2: The final chapter! All your friends are back — creepo, Cap’n Forehead, the ginger kid, the super-pretty one, and probably some other people — for a high-octane thrill ride of magic wands and yelling.
ROTTENTOMATOES: 98%
Gratuitous Review Quotes (out of the 202 reviews, guess who was one of the five negative. Go ahead, just guess…):
“The best possible end for the series that began a decade ago.” -Joe Morganstern, Wall Street Journal
“It’s a pleasant irony that, just as the first installments of Rowling’s oeuvre were better suited to page than screen, the final installments have reversed the relationship.” -Christopher Orr, The Atlantic (of course…)
“This is the way The Harry Potter saga was meant to end.” -Laremy Legel, Film.com
“Now that the Harry Potter series is over, maybe the truth can be realized: This has been the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises.” -Armond White
“TRUTHBOMB’D, MOTHAF*CKAS! But before I go, I just want you to know that this fur hat is made out of Hoberman’s sister’s pubic hairs.” (*drops mic, dumps pimp chalice on Ebert, exits building to chants of ‘Hate hate hate hate hate hate…’*)
NEXT PAGE: Winnie the Pooh
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Armond White is just f*cking with us now, right?
My daughter and I have gone to see all of the HP films, she has sort of grown up along with the cast, from 7 to now 17. But not this one, between work, school, and the love of her life for this week we didn’t get the chance this summer before she flew back home to Iowa. :*(
So get plunder fucked in your turd nozzle A-Dubs, maybe the franchise wasn’t all about being high entertainment for staunchly verbose uptight overcompensating dweebs to write terse reviews of, but simple entertainment to inspire wonderment and a connection for children and their dweeb parents.
What an asshole.
Awww, you queer, that was kind of heartwarming.
Aaww, that was a whole new side of Crappy.
Except the profanity. That was normal.
Sssshhh! Don’t tell anybody, I have distain to maintain.
Looks like I picked the wrong weekend to stop slinging my ass for crack money and thought I might see a movie.
I’ll take you to the movies, Crap. And possibly the ass-crack-slingin’ as well…
well at least Jay Baruchel isn’t doing the voice of Piglet in the new reimaginning of Winnieh the Pooh
My world… it’s upside down
the owl is played by Craig Ferguson, I really like craig ferguson but couldn’t they get someone who can do an impression of the old owl voice? same for tigger and pooh, they’re played by Jim cummings who has done the voices before but it looks like he forgot how to do the voices now
No Armchair Assessment?
Tut tut, looks like a synical money grab!
Tut tut, looks like a synical money grab!
*cynical
Need crack.
F’this, I’m gonna go play Angry Birds in the shitter.
So angry turds then. I’m sure that game would sell like crazy in Japan.
“Disney honours Milne, avoids stepping on ‘Pooh’”
Either Pooh, or get off on Potter.
I don’t want a real spoiler, but do we get to see Emma get out of a car?
–s’e'ek’c'ou’ga’r.c óm–.it is the first and best club for y’ounger women and old’er men, or older women and y’ounger men,to int’eract with each other. Maybe you wanna ch’eck ‘it out or tell your friends!