"Knock knock... who's there? Your heart."

Thanks to the success of this year’s foul-mouthed and R-rated comedies like Horrible Bosses, Bad Teacher, Bridesmaids, Friends with Benefits, and that other one with Ashton Kutcher that came out first but was probably worse, studios seem to be digging pretty hard to find the next blockbuster comedy idea. So it makes perfect sense that they’d take a trip back to the Judd Apatow farm to harvest the latest ideas of Andrew Cohen and Brendan O’Brien.

Their latest project is a rated R comedy starring, not shockingly, Seth Rogen and, actually shockingly, Zac Efron. According to Cinema Blend, Rogen would play your average Joe, living his vanilla life in Anytown, USA, when all of a sudden – record scratch – a bunch of frat boys move in next door to him. Efron plays the lead pledge trainer, hell master, or elephant walker and hijinks ensue.

I can almost see the pitch now…

Universal Exec: “So do you guys have any big ideas that you’re working on?”
Andrew Cohen: *takes big bong rip* “Uh yeah, like, Seth Rogen plays this dude…”
Brendan O’Brien: *takes big bong rip* “And he’s, like, doing something funny…”
Universal Exec: “OK, yeah, this sounds great. Who else is in it?”
Cohen: *exhales* “I don’t know, like, Zac Efron or somebody.”
Universal Exec: “Here’s a blank check, you glorious c*cksuckers!”

That idea netted Cohen and O’Brien an unspecified 7-figure amount (each!), while Rogen will receive $8 million to star and another unspecified 7-figure amount to produce. Meanwhile, the writers for Adam Sandler’s next project were just paid in Fruit Roll-Ups and nap time.

Speaking of Efron, because I know you ladies can’t get enough, this was apparently newsworthy a few weeks ago, so I thought I’d share it now – Zac’s rocking a triple nipple. A board-certified dermatologist named Sandra Lee apparently took considerable time studying images of shirtless Efron (*swoons*) to determine that he has a third nipple. His reps have denied this claim, leaving us with what is undoubtedly the greatest controversy of this young century.