Ironclad, starring Paul Giamatti and James Purefoy, barely got a release before it goes to DVD July 26th, isn’t even listed on BoxOfficeMojo, and based on its middling reviews, would seem to be fairly mediocre. What this new video of a guy getting beaten to death with his own arm preSUPPOSES is… maybe it’s awesome? That is the most metal version of “why you hittin’ yourself” I’ve ever seen. I can’t even handle this much carnage and speed metal. I started watching it, but then I blacked out and when I woke up, my cat was on fire.
[via BloodyDisgusting]
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OOOH-WAH-AH-AH-AH!!!
that was pretty metal, possibly of the Iron variety.
Yawn, I beat my boner to death with my own arm all the time.
The punishment was certainly severe for getting caught masturbating in medieval times.
The punishment was certainly severe for getting caught masturbating in Medieval Times.
Flixed!
The actresses playing the serving wenches just don’t get paid enough to tolerate getting jizzed on all night.
Kitten fire and clavicle popping. These are a few of my favorite things!
My time as Ethelred the Unsteady at the local Renaissance faire was never like this. It may be time to make a comeback.
LET THE GIAMATTI’S HIT THE FLOOR!!! LET THE GIAMATTI’S HIT THE FLOOR!!!
Wow, this video is like setting the needle down in the middle of an LP playing my internal dialogue.
Sadly none of that was special effects. Good luck getting anyone to sign on to make a sequel.
Ned, it seems our definitions of “sadly” are vastly different.
Fagnuts.
I hereby declare this the most awesome thing ever in the history of awesomeness. And I don’t use the word “awesome” lightly, the way everyone else does. Everything is “awesome” to most people. Ooh, that shirt is awesome. Wow, this new job I got is awesome. That burger I just ate was “awesome”. No. It wasn’t. People, that word is reserved for things that are so magnificent, so wondrous and rare, so utterly spellbinding that they make you question your very place in the universe. They make you ponder the very meaning of your own existence down to the molecular level. Watching the Space Shuttle take off is “awesome”. A volcano is “awesome”. Nuclear detonations are “aweseome”. And this video – THIS – is truly…TRULY…awesome. Now let us permanently retire that word, because none of us will ever see anything more utterly awesometastic than this. Damn. Just….DAMN.
I can see why this movie was panned. Launching a man into a wall with a trebuchet is a maddening misuse of siege engines.
Unfortunately, that is not his own arm he’s being beaten with but that of one of his Danish friend, and while he does get beaten with it, the death blow is getting the top of his face chopped off.
So…great death, or greatest death?
I would go for the latter. He was Danish, after all.
Damn!!!! If tintin was like this I would so be there with my serving wench corset on!!!!
Directed by (literally) Johnny English.
Paul Giamatti looks like the muppet that f*cked Kim Henson to death.
I got to see it in the theater, and I actually thought it was pretty good. I mean, there’s no laughably bad acting and you can see that the gore is fairly well done. It’s not bad for a medieval action film. It’s not incredibly historically accurate, but when men are chopping men in half, who cares? I say watch it.