The news today for Tom Cruise’s latest project, Rock of Ages, is that Saturday Night Live’s Will Forte is joining the cast of this Broadway-to-big-screen musical adaptation. Forte joins Cruise, Russell Brand, Alec Baldwin, Bryan Cranston, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and Malin Akerman’s super hot self, among others, for this star-studded celebration of the Tony-nominated musical.
Cruise is playing 80s rock superstar Stacee Jaxx and you can see from the image above that he’s hardly sacrificing his trademark manliness that he’s so well-known for these days. Don’t you worry about that, friends, because his woman, Katie Holmes, says that he’s still a boss.
“Two years ago he took me up on his P-51 Mustang, a fighter plane from World War II. He painted the words, ‘Kiss Me, Kate’ on the side,” Holmes says in the August issue of InStyle. “It feels like you’re on a bike in the sky. I thought, I’m either going to spend this whole flight totally freaked out or realize this is pretty thrilling.” (Via People)
When they landed, Katie wrapped her arms around Tom’s neck and moved in to kiss him, but he pulled back and said, “Stop it! You’re messing up my scarf!”
Rumor also has it that the couple’s child, Suri, could make an appearance in the film, and of course by rumor, I mean that E! made up a question so they could answer it themselves. But just in case, the film’s director, Adam Shankman, weighed in on Twitter.
“This is the first i have heard of this,” tweeted director Adam Shankman. “Its not true, though i adore Suri. Dont believe everything you read. Liza was awfully cute with judy in meet me in st louis!”
Huh, I think I just invented jazz middle fingers.
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I wonder how much Katie Holmes costs.
I can’t look at that mic without it turning into a dick.
Now you can’t either.
A minute after Adam Shankman weighed in on Twitter, Perez Hilton wrote an article about how fat his tweets were, drew dicks all over anything within reach and giggled himself to death.
After reading Katie’s comments, Tom patted her on the head and said, “That’ll do beard. That’ll do.”
Cruise agreed to be in this as long as there are no Constantine Maroulis in there.
He didn’t really mean for Katie to kiss him. He was just expressing his love for the classic Broadway musical Kiss Me, Kate.
Let the Photoshopping commence!
It may have said “Kiss Me, Kate” on the plane, but he was spelling “Blow Me, Kevin” in the sky.
Okay, way to bring the funny. You got me twice in that one (The Verbal Kint reference and of course Jazz middle fingers).
I’m working on my company’s intranet site and trying hard not to incorporate dancing Mel.
I’ve never had a guy write “Kiss Me” on a plane but I have had one sharpie “I have herpes” on my locker.
I’d rather watch Adam Sandler playing his own sister than Tom Cruise playing a rock singer. Everything about this makes my skin crawl.
For folks who thought Mahky-Mahk as a rahka wasn’t fey enough.
Hey, Tom Cruise may believe that he has an immortal alien living inside him, but he’s still a pretty good actor. If anybody can really put all of himself into Stacee Jaxx, it’s him.
Can’t escape fighting the g-forces, that Tommy. Always some g-force or another to be defeated.
To put it another way, I’d rather hear gunfire coming from my child’s bedroom than Tom Cruise singing a fucking Night Ranger song.
So, a P-51 Mustang is a bi-plane?
Are we truly supposed to believe that Tom allows Katie to be his wingman? As if!
Is it Adam Shankman day? I sure hope it is.
Agent: Tom, it’s going to be great; you’ll be running around on stage rocking out half naked. We’re going to get you all tatted up, let your hair grow out… the kids will love it!!
Tom: hmm… I’ll get back to you.
Agent: …Tom, it’s based on a broadway musical, we’ve got an all star cast. You know Russell Brand, you LOVE Russell Brand. This will be like the next Magnolia but even Stupid people will like it.
Maverick: uh.. I’ll have to run it by the church.
Agent: *sigh* We can make you look taller.
Cruise: Tell me more…
Agent: Uh… your name will be Stacee Jaxx?
TC: :-D
Tom: You can be my wingman anytime.
Katie: Bullshit. You can- oooh! A squirrel!
“KISS ME, KATE…”
he was trailed by another plane:
“… JUST KEEP YOUR PANTIES ON ‘CAUSE THAT THING IS GROSS”
moRect, I think you’re confusing “fey” (which is actually a pretty terrific word) with “fay” (which is a more apt description of Mr. Cruise).