So it’s finally here. Last week, our video editor, Oliver Noble and I provided the topic and you suggested scenes that should be included, in our first ever “Oliver Says Cut Yourself,” our crowd-sourced movie mash-up, which Oliver has titled “The Movie Geek’s Guide to Talking Dirty.” We realize it’s not the polio vaccine, but it is a pretty comprehensive cut of cinematic nasty sex talk and post-coitus whisperings (and by nasty I mean NSFW for language — and lots of humping, but no actual nudity). It’s more compelling than it by all rights should be.  What’s your favorite? Pooping back and forth forever? Marlon Brando demanding a finger up his butt? (That’s how he’d want to be remembered, I think).  FIND OUT WHICH SCENES WE INCLUDED NOW!

Yes, again you may notice: Oliver is a depraved, twisted little man. He’s going to get such a smack for this one.

When my girlfriend and I are feeling particularly kinky, during sex she’ll say something nasty, like “I’m going to cut my bangs like John Cusack’s girlfriend in High Fidelity,” to which my involuntary reaction is to sock her in the belly and puke for an hour. It’s pretty hot. We keep things spicy. REEER.

LIST OF MOVIES USED:

Part 1: Seduction
Caddyshack (1980)

Wedding Crashers (2005)

Step Brothers (2008)

Youth in Revolt (2009)

High Fidelity (2000)

Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)

The Invention of Lying (2009)

Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (2002)

Super Troopers (2001)

Bad Lieutenant (1992)

Pulp Fiction (1994)

Full Metal Jacket (1987)

The Last Seduction (1994)

Superbad (2007)

American Psycho (2000)

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)

Last Tango in Paris (1972)

Me and You and Everyone We Know (2005)

Scarface (1983)

South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut (1999)

Jackie Brown (1997)

Kids (1995)

Wild at Heart (1990)

The Oh in Ohio (2006)

Quills (2000)

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)

Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion (1997)

Monster’s Ball (2001)

No Country for Old Men (2007)

American Pie (1999)

Blue Velvet (1986)
—

Part 2: Coitus
Superbad (2007)

Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)

The Sweetest Thing (2002)

Beerfest (2006)

Crash (1996)

The Last Seduction (1994)

Sideways (2004)

Scary Movie (2000)

The Exorcist (1973)

Deliverance (1972)

Young Frankenstein (1974)

Knocked Up (2007)

Booty Call (1997)

Storytelling (2001)

Blue Velvet (1986)

Unfaithful (2002)

The Last Seduction (1994)

Last Tango in Paris (1972)

Baby Boy (2001)

Bad Santa (2003)

American Beauty (1999)

Baby Boy (2001)

Jerry Maguire (1996)

Crank (2006)

MacGruber (2010)

Boogie Nights Poster

Top 5000

Boogie Nights (1997)

Myra Breckinridge (1970)
—

Part 3: Pillow Talk
Shoot ‘Em Up (2007)

Jackie Brown (1997)

Annie Hall (1977)

Kingpin (1996)

The Sweetest Thing (2002)

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)

Fight Club (1999)

The Cooler (2003)

Baby Boy (2001)

The Big Lebowski (1998)

After Sex (2007)

The Boondock Saints (1999)

The Sleeping Dictionary (2003)

Liar Liar (1997)

Natural Born Killers (1994)