I couldn’t make my Monday night press screening for Transformers: Dark of the Moon, but knowing it would probably be the biggest movie of the summer, I went to see it on my own dime the first chance I got. I knew I owed it to you to at least attempt to answer all your burning questions. Is there robot heaven in this one? Is Rosie Whatsername-McHyphen as good at looking hot as Megan Fox? And for the love of God, man, what of Josh Duhamel and the Flying Squirrel Team? That was the plan. So then I saw it Wednesday night. But when I sat down to write my review, I was overcome with apathy. So far all I’ve got is:
“Transformers is long.”
…To be continued. (…but probably not).
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Why is everything moving so fast, why isn’t the camera rotating around the action, and where the fuck are the flames?
-Michael Bay, gif critic
If anyone can edit monkeys on vines into that GIF, I will come up with some sort of prize for you.
I second that. I’ve got lots of porn (unopened) if you want that…
Da only question Oi want ansehh’d is “Did dis Shia Lapoof bloke bone da Stafe’s fit bird and what wood be da prefuhd meffod of da Stafe killing da daft cunt? Frow him fru a window? Drive ‘is car off’n a cliff? Break all ‘is fingahs (we know dat one would be quickah, don’ we?) Only problem is it moight not actually kill ‘im.”
Vince, you should really open up the pictures your mom sends you.
Geeze you’re such a teasebag.
Looks like Shia is about to lose another pinky.
Transformers 4: A Saucerful of Secrets
Looks like there’s going to be an inventory shortage this week at the neighborhood Tank and Barrel store.
Transformers 5: Atom Heart Mother
Transformers 6: Fart, Robot Balls
“I drank a gallon of paint!” – Pete Hammond
Did you guys say Monkeys inside the Gif?
[i79.photobucket.com]
Transformers 8: The black-sounding robots get robot syphillis
Looks like there’s going to be an inventory shortage this week at the neighborhood Tank and Barrel store.
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You want my review? Here it is. Save your outrageous $17.50. Instead why not pay a homeless man to piss on your face for 2 and a half hours. At least you won’t have to wait in line with the fifteen year old boys who couldn’t even tell you any of the transformers names. I could not be more pissed that I had to sit through this steaming pile and my boyfriend still refuses to go see Bridesmaids with me.