Courtesy of MGM/New Line, here’s your first look at Jed Brophy, Adam Brown, and Mark Hadlow as Nori, Ori, and Dori, the dwarves from The Hobbit. Ori is the Jewish one, while Nori and Dori were given girl names to make them tougher. Okay, I made that up.
These three brothers, all sons of the same mother, could not be more different from each other. Dori, the oldest, spends much of his time watching out for Ori, the youngest; making sure he’s not caught a chill or got himself killed by Wargs or Goblins. Nobody quite knows what Nori gets up to most of the time, except that it’s guaranteed to be dodgy and quite probably, illegal. Dori, Nori and Ori are intensely loyal to each other – and whilst they are perfectly happy fighting amongst themselves, woe-betide any anyone who means harm to one of these brothers.
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey opens in 3D, 2D and IMAX 3D theaters on December 14, 2012. [ComingSoon]
My sources tell me braiding Nori’s beard was the most exciting to happen to New Zealand since Wellington got a pickling plant. Prime Minister Steve even declared it an official holiday! Everyone got the day off from shearing.


How butch. Something tells me Bilbo is going to be doing a lot of “dwarf tossing”.
Not pictured: Hori, who was busy finishing up in the Hobbit hole.
Don’t forget Tori!
[celebslam.celebuzz.com]
Although she’s more of a troll than a dwarf.
The forgot to get my approval, so they don’t have it. Do it again!
When did become a good Idea to spend the better part of a billion dollars on stuff that is kinda cool to 5% of the population / kinda looks like you made those fucking stupid pewter RPG game pieces come to life. What kind of cocaine are these people doing?
It makes Transformers look like a safe bet.
Oh my goodness! They sound like irrepressible scamps they do! Great Goblins of Goobleydork, who the fuck wrote that drivel?
Is Nori based on Chris Meloni as Freakshow in Harold and Kumar? Because if so, VICTORY.
So will Ian McKellan be reprising his role as Scrooge McDuck?
Granted this is just personal opinion, but I think only the middle one can be classified as a cutie patootie.
I’ll watch as long as they try to finally rescue Nathan Jr. from Nicolas Cage.
The transformation of Hobbits from badasses to pussies between the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings movies is clearly a metaphor for baby boomers and millenials.
Interestingly enough, lics Gratu, the inverse can be said of the Dwarves.
In the LOTR trilogy you have bad ass motherfucker Gimli ready to split skulls with an axe and rape and pillage orcs with Dwarven BO. He puts on Kahless-esque displays of murder and awesomeness, and gets that hot blond elf chick as a girlfriend. (More like, “Leggo my lil’ ass”, isHerite? Wa’qa wa’qa!)
The fucking dwarves in The Hobbit are better equipped to do a scene from Glee than fight goblins. They are the bumbling, pseudo-Ferengi equivalent of comic relief more than anything else. About the bravest thing any of the 13 of them does is yell at Bilbo. Fuckers.
Nori made Starburns his bitch.
Obvious Prop Sword Alert