James Franco’s full Playboy interview just came out in the print edition (you may remember the teaser where he talks about what went wrong at the Oscars from a few weeks ago) and I thought I’d share some of the highlights. After all, who doesn’t love a good Franco story? There’s no problem a good dicknosing won’t cure. So. Remember that art show James Franco was involved with, where he helped Harmony Korine film that naked chick bike fight? The one where he carved “Brad Renfro” into his arm with a razor blade? Well it turns out he also wanted to get Twilight star Robert Pattinson involved.

It’s a huge project I’m incredibly honored and proud to be presenting. It’s based on Rebel Without a Cause, and some of the best contemporary artists alive—Paul McCarthy, Douglas Gordon, Ed ­Ruscha, Aaron Young, Damon McCarthy and ­Harmony Korine—worked on different sections. I wanted Robert Pattinson to be in the project, but when Harmony contacted him and told him the concept, Rob said, “I don’t get the point,” so that was that.

Oh, RPattz. The point? It’s art. And not even invisible art, the regular stuff, with naked chicks, and cutting yourself. Don’t you know any artists? Anyway, as much as I love James Franco, I can’t help but like Robert Pattinson a little more because of this. But back to the interview, another thing you might be surprised to learn is that Franco wanted to be in Twilight. Why, you ask? Why, only for the James Franco-est of reasons.

PLAYBOY: Is it true you wanted to do a ­Twilight movie?

FRANCO: I had my agent tell [director] Bill Condon that I’d be happy to do anything in Breaking Dawn, but that was because it was supposed to be part of a multimedia project at Yale. I was working with a Yale undergraduate who had written an autobiographical play about putting on a theatrical production of Twilight in which I was a character. So I was interested in Twilight because I was going to be part of that play. I thought what a great connection it would be if I were also involved with the real Twilight.

“So you see, I was going to play a fictional character in a movie, about which a friend from Yale had written a semi-autobiographical tale featuring a quasi-fictional play that would actually become non-fictional, once I produced it as a real play, which would then become a multimedia installation. CAN YOU FATHOM HOW F*CKING META THAT IS?! OF COURSE YOU CAN’T!! THAT’S WHY I WANTED TO DO IT!! Blowin’ minds and doin’ drugs, man, that’s what it’s all about.”

I love you, James Franco.

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SITE NEWS: Sorry for the lack of posts this afternoon. I was planning to get some work done here at the airport, where I’m sitting in the Southwest section with the rest of the mouth-breathers, but it turns out the wireless connection here is spottier than my girlfriend’s period. I apologize for that. Her periods, I mean.