Gina Carano is currently on her way to Comic Con to make it 1,000% sexier but until Vince comes back with his inevitable interview with her, featuring questions like, “Why don’t you love me?” and “500 feet?!?!”, we’ll have to settle for some new images that have been released for her upcoming movie debut, Haywire. The film was originally supposed to be released earlier this year but has been pushed back to January 20, 2012 because of distribution and studio issues. It’s fine, though. We can wait forever for Gina.
Haywire also stars Ewan MacGregor, Michael F. Assbender, Antonio Banderas, Bill Paxton, and Michael Douglas. And, of course, our boy Channing Tatum. Carano plays Mallory Kane, an elite government agent who suddenly finds herself double-crossed by her bosses and partners.
After successfully freeing a Chinese journalist held hostage, she is double crossed and left for dead by someone close to her in her own agency. Suddenly the target of skilled assassins who know her every move, Mallory must find the truth in order to stay alive. Using her black-ops military training, she devises an ingenious—and dangerous—trap. But when things go haywire [That’s the name of the movie! – Ed.], Mallory realizes she’ll be killed in the blink of an eye unless she finds a way to turn the tables on her ruthless adversary. (Via Indiewire)
While that synopsis sure does sound fun, I thought I would take it a step further and ask our good friend Channing Tatum, or C-Tates as he had spelled in the platinum grill he gave me at the BET Awards, to walk us through these new Haywire photos.
Yo girl, check it, dis is da… oh snap, where be my manners? YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH SON, C-TATES IS IN YO MUTHA F*CKIN HEEZOUSE! Now where was C-Tates? Right. Check it, Gina Fly – dat’s wut I calls my movie boo – is all like, Yo C-Tates, u streets n sh*t, how I’mma fire off dis gun? And I’m like, Yo fine ass Gina C., you need to represent wit dat Tek 9, be all like, RECOGNIZE! RATTA TAT TAT TAT! Girl capped some ass, son. 2 legit 2 quit, word is born.
So like, dis next picture, I’m like, Yo Gina Fly, u been busted n sh*t, and she’s like, Oh snap, playboy, I needs to run. Like dat time I was knockin’ boots wit dat Miami Heat dancer and her papi came home and was all like, Yo C-Tates, I recognize u gots a big burnt dizznick n all, but u can’t be waxin’ dat ass. C-tates had to educate dat hater hahaha mad props. But yo, Gina’s all like, Yo C-Tates, I know you’s like dis mega action star, right? And I said, Hey boo, jump over dat whip. Damn straight, Gina Fly jumped dat whip. So then I was all like, Yo Gina Fly, why ain’t you let me hit dat yet? And she was like…
HAHA YEAH, C-TATES YA BOI! 2011! CALL YO MOMS, I’M OUT!