"OI, QUAID! Start da fookin' reactor, ya styoopid coont!"

Len Wiseman’s Total Recall remake starring Colin Farrell is set for August of next year, and in their latest issue, EW just published the first photo. So I guess now we know what a single frame of that might look like (*dusts off hands, folds hands behind head, leans back in chair, waits for profits to roll in*).  Last we heard about this project, the plot, based on Phillip K. Dick’s “We Can Remember It for You Wholesale”, was now about a conflict between the “nation-states” of Euroamerica and New Shanghai, and may not involve Mars or space at all. No word on that in the latest piece, but they do say it will be less “jokey.” Phew, thank God. Hey, could you tone down some of the action while you’re at it? The original seemed awful rambunctious.

In the magazine, Farrell says “the tone will be much less jokey” than Arnold Schwarzenegger‘s 1990′s sci-fi hit. He says, “there’s not as much tongue-in-cheek” and that he wouldn’t feel comfortable delivering lines like ‘Consider dat a divorce!’” [TheFilmStage]

Really? Yet he had no qualms about karate chopping a midget in the neck and saying, “Back off, sharty!”? This seems like a strange thing to mention. I’m just saying, if I was doing a remake of Total Recall, that was no longer set in space, with a director who’d done two Underworld movies and a Die Hard sequel, “Wait, but will Colin Farrell be able to match Arnold Schwarzenegger’s natural flair for comedy?” probably wouldn’t even make the top 10 on my list of concerns.