Terrorists Doug Ellin and Mark Wahlberg issued a new round of threats this week, reaffirming their commitment to releasing an Entourage movie inside the US, an attack whose consequences would be catastrophic, experts say. Officials responded by tightening security at club openings, Hooterses, and men’s mag writers meetings, promising to arrest anyone caught using the phrase “hug it out, bitch,” “victory,” or “Got MILF” and hold them indefinitely as enemy combatants. Homeland Security has upgraded the Douche-Threat Level to Sunglasses at Night.

More assurances that HBO’s longrunning comedy series Entourage will spill onto the big screen with a movie, following the end of its 8-season run this fall. “If I had to finance it myself, I would do it,” executive producer Mark Wahlberg said during the TCA session dedicated to Entourage‘s final season. “I’ve been telling Doug, The Hangover is to me very much like Entourage, and look at all the recent success of R-rated movies.” Doug would be Entourage creator/executive producer Doug Ellin. “We’re going to do a movie,” he said. “We’re going to do it, the questing is when and how quickly. Hopefully we’ll come down with an idea and make it happen.” [Deadline]

I agree, Entourage is a lot like The Hangover. The only distinction I see is that Stu could’ve killed that tranny he banged, dismembered her, and buried her in the jungle, and still been more likable than anyone on Entourage. “But, Vince, what if you don’t do dat Brett Ratnah movie, who’s gonna drive us to da pool party?”

Tagline: “Time to sack up and fist-bump your destiny, queer.”