No one in Hollywood makes me want to puke as much as the Smith family (the daughter’s named Willow after the dad! the son’s named Jaden after the mom! God, they’re like black Mormons), but I’ll give Will Smith this, he buys great birthday presents.  He bought a Karate Kid remake for his son, even though no one in the world gives a crap about an 11-year-old lead — to quote Royal Tenenbaum, “What characters? It’s just a bunch of little kids in costumes,” — and his daughter must’ve gotten jealous, because he bought her a remake of Annie. And now he’s trying to get Emma Thompson to write the screenplay.  At first I figured he’d just seen Stranger than Fiction too many times, but it turns out she does actually write stuff.

Insiders say Will Smith and Jay-Z are in negotiations with Oscar-winning screenwriter [Best Actress in 1992 for Howard's End and Best Adapted Screenplay in 1995 for Sense and Sensibility] and actress Emma Thompson to re-adapt the screenplay for an updated version of the musical that would star Smith’s youngest progeny, Willow.
If the deal with Thompson goes through, the project will be the first fruit of the partnership between Smith and Jay-Z that Columbia Pictures announced back in January, but it won’t be the first time that these principals have worked together: Thompson is currently co-starring with Smith as Agent O in Men in Black III, while Jay-Z, Smith, and his spouse, Jada Pinkett-Smith, all served as co-producers of the Broadway musical Fela!, nominated for eleven Tony awards last year. [Vulture]

A remake of Annie starring Will Smith’s daughter, who’s 10.  And Jay-Z supposedly still has credibility?  F*ck that guy.  The only thing I want to see Willow Smith in a remake of Willow, where it’s just her fending off attacks by an angry dwarf who bites.  Warwick Davis would be cool, but any dwarf with teeth, really.