“RATED ARG FOR PIRATES, F*CK YOU!” I had legitimate tears rolling down my cheeks when I watched this for the first time last night.  I would watch six straight hours of just South Park movie trailer parodies. |sidenote: every South Park episode is now available for free online|

MORNING LINKS

MC Hammer Next To Be Sacrificed To The Juggalos At Their Annual Gathering [Uproxx]

50 Objects That Look A Little Like Jesus [Uproxx]

TV Gourmet: The Good Morning Burger, Rachel’s Trifle, and Other TV Food [WarmingGlow]

Drew’s latest Rex Ryan column made me piss-cry blood-cum tears of hilarity, whatever that means. |KissingSuzyKolber|

My verdict on Super 8: Don’t believe the hype. See X-Men instead. Hell, see anything. |Review|

Lupe Fiasco: Obama Is “The Biggest Terrorist” [TSS]

PICTURED: You have not partied like Riot Guy parties.

The NY Times Names Lloyd Banks New York’s Most Important Rapper [RealTalkNY]

Futurama Meme: Fry is not sure about stuff. |GammaSquad|

Tron Guy shows up on America’s Got Talent. Holy crap, Nick Cannon hosts this show?  And people watch it? |TheDailyWhat|

30 dogs shaking off the summer heat. |Buzzfeed|

Anthony Weiner’s wife is pregnant.  Note to everyone: I DON’T CARE ABOUT THIS GODD*MN STORY. |TheSuperficial|

Idris Elba answers your Facebook questions. |Videogum|

Syracuse man pushes around 6-foot mannequin he calls his wife.  Hey, at least she’s tall. |NYCStool|

Laura Lee is your barely-clothed tramp of the day. |GorillaMask|

The traumatizing stages of an emergency number two. |HolyTaco|

Rosie Huntington-Whatserface says Michael Bay isn’t a sexist pig. |ScreenJunkies|

Super Terrific Japanese Thing: Oshokuji no Jikan DVD [ToplessRobot]

DC Comics’ reboot of its entire superhero line happens to feature Superboy with a tattoo. BUT HOW? [Fark]

‘The Heming Way’: Bro Icon Ernest Hemingway On Women [Brobible]

BECOME A FAN OF FILMDRUNK ON FACEBOOK OR ELSE MY DAD WILL BEAT ME!