Recently, a group of dumb hippies gathered enough signatures to get a bill on the ballot in San Francisco that would make it a crime to perform circumcisions (even at a hospital).  Because clearly there weren’t already enough frivolous causes to make liberals look bad here. And obviously, lowering the risk of contracting HIV doesn’t justify allowing these barbarians to harmlessly peel back their baby’s wiener skin like they’ve already been doing for 2000 years***. Aaaaanyway, now Hollywood superstar Russell Crowe has weighed in on the issue, coming down hard (because he’s fat, get it?) on the side of the forskinivists****.  Crowe recently Tweeted:

- “Circumcision is barbaric and stupid. Who are you to correct nature?” [says the fat f*ck driving a sports car and eating a Twinkie]
- “Is it real that God requires a donation of foreskin? Babies are perfect.” [except for the not being able to feed themselves and drooling part]
- “I love my Jewish friends, I love the apples and the honey and the funny little hats, but stop cutting your babies.” [Jews invented apples and honey?  Maybe he means lox and money.]
- “I will always stand for the perfection of babies. I will always believe in God, not man’s interpretation of what God requires.” [Oh Jesus, I don't even know where to start with this one]
- “Last of it, if you feel it is your right to cut things off your babies please unfollow and f**k off; I’ll take attentive parenting over barbarism.” [via WWTDD]

Hahahahaha, ‘funny little Jew hats’.  And that was him trying to be PC.  God, I wish every celebrity was a drunk Australian.

***I’d love to know what the kids with the clipboards outside Whole Foods told people to get them to sign up for this. Excuse me, sir? Do you have a minute for baby penises?

****Pointless trivia: When I was in Australia, circumcised men were known as “helmets,” uncircumcised men as “squids.”