A few years back, I posted a still from the sex tape Chyna (aka Joanie Laurer) released seven years ago, showing her massive, pinkie-sized, steroid-enlarged (presumably) clit, and I don’t think anyone who saw it has stopped having nightmares since. Well now, TMZ reports that Vivid will soon be releasing a new porn starring Chyna (the way they tell it, she approached Vivid), which is great news for anyone who gets off on 41-year-old body builders whose clits have identifiable head and shaft sections. (*tries to hide erection*) Possible title: “These Ain’t Women XXX.” (These Ain’t Women XXY?)
Wrestling superstar Chyna tells TMZ … she has been told point blank that if her new XXX porn tape is actually released, she will never be allowed to work for TNA Wrestling ever again.
It’s a big deal for Chyna — because she had recently been in talks with the wrestling organization about working out a long term deal … and before the XXX tape came into the picture, things were looking optimistic.
But now, with the hardcore tape set to be released later this month, Chyna tells us she got a call from TNA honchos warning her that if she lets the tape hit shelves … the deal is off for good.
Yes, because God forbid an employee commit the terrible sin of releasing a second sex video while representing a classy, second-tier fake wrestling organization whose name is a subtle play on “TITZ N ASS”. This is a wholesome family organization! I need a shower.