"No, seriously, no cables, not even an antenna! Have you seen this? Have you heard of this? I don't know where it came from, but this nice Mexican girl gave it to me. She's pretty, but I think she might be a witch."

Word up, hepcats, peep this excerpt from a recent interview with Woody Allen:

Reuters: You still write your scripts on a typewriter?

Allen: I don’t own a word processor; I am not a gadget person.

Reuters: So how do you adapt to the world of iPods and iPads?

Allen: I have a telephone, a cell phone, but all I can do on it is call out and receive calls. I don’t have any other use, I have no, what do you call it, text number? [source]

A “text number?”  Jesus, man, is that some Jitterbug scheme to get old people to buy two phones?  I also like how he casually refers to “word processors” as if they’re the latest in gadgetry.  I’m old enough to remember jerking off before the internet (in college!) and even I barely know what that is.  I imagine him looking at the reporter’s microphone going “Can it hear me? Do I need to get closer to the machine?”  Which I suppose makes it all the more impressive that his latest movie is actually pretty friggin good. I should show him the email forward with all those “amazing real pictures” my mom keeps sending me.  “Good heavens! I can’t believe the shark ate that helicopter,” I imagine he’d say.

[thanks to the ancient Matt Ufford for the tip]