Dreamworks has just released an international trailer for The Help, starring Emma Stone as a society-gal/newspaper columnist in 1960s Jackson, Mississippi. Returning from college, Stone is shocked to find the deplorable state of race relations, including a childhood friend who wants to pass a law requiring all white households to have a separate bathroom for “the help,” so the blacks don’t sh*t up their nice, white toilets. Emma Stone, knowing The Help to be a group of noble-yet-disorganized savages, is horrified. Being the sweet, compassionate white lady she is, she infiltrates their tribe, quickly learning their languages and customs, and eventually becoming their new king. Toruk Makto, they call her, and she leads them on a long-overdue rebellion against the white establishment that has oppressed them and ravaged their homeland for too long. Can she succeed? Or will the white establishment crush them? Or maybe, even with their primitive weaponry, The Help will soon discover that all along, all they needed was a little discipline and someone to lead them. It’s a story as old as time.
[HD at Apple]
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Women were allowed to work in the 60s?
“Yahr changin’ that gahrl’s sheets.”
“Nope… she’s changin’ mahhhnnn…”
She comes back from college a smart mouthed, know-it-all? This movie doesn’t sound very realistic.
I hope at the end, she guides them onto the Amistad with the promise of cornbread and collard greens.
@seRum, set to a Randy Newman tune, and it’ll be just like Toy Story.
Fuck! I’m looking forward to this one.
Why can’t I be cool?! I need help.
Women be helpin’.
Is this another Tyler Perry vehicle? He plays Minnie, right?
Starring Emma Stone as Frizzy Frockbitch, and a bunch of coloreds.
Look at them coloured folks dance. They’re so exuberant.
Nice to see Emma Stone get some color back in her hair
Hold up, an Ole Miss education made Emma Stone forward thinking and progressive?
“Yer changin’ that tahhlet fer wahhtes.”
Damn, do over. (*clears throat*) Emma Stone’s character can relate to the help because she too has colored hair.
This was originally titled “Mississippi Shitting”.
Finally! A white person to help The Blacks realize that they are people too! Thanks Hollywood! It’s about time someone provided an alternative to those unrealistic, ethnically degrading Tyler Perry movies! Maybe they’ll make a movie about a noble heterosexual woman who will help The Gays realize that they too are deserving of basic human rights like food, water, and bot getting beaten to death by Skinheads!
…And with Emma Stone’s help and super white cuteness, she help stop racism once and for all. It just goes to show you that all the blacks needed was some white college educated waif to lead them to the promised land of equality and human dignity. God Bless America.
Just one thing I need to know.
Will there be Mechs?
Geez, I hate movies that discuss the history of American segregation or discrimination, even if it’s a bit patronizing. I mean, why even have movies about that shit. Blacks and American history just keep ruining the fun for whites. Can we just have more Joseph Gordon-Levitt dramas, or more Michael Cera comedies (record scratch – smug look over sunglasses).
I mean, can’t we have movies instead with just one black person, or even better just a South Asian person (Indian, Bangladeshi, or Pakistani instead), that’s so much cooler – allowing us a person of color without the annoyance of having a black person in a 21st century move (record scratch – smug look over sunglasses).
In fact, I think you really gave the finger to the producers of this film “The Help” by mocking their overeager, but off-base attempt to discuss segregation in the South. Who wants to see a movie about that shit. After all, Blacks have had it good! The Internet told me so! (record scratch – smug look over sunglasses).
Besides, all black people in cinema are noble, right? I mean that’s what you were implying, right? Except when they’re “con-men,” or “ex-cons,” or “street hustlers,” or “gangsta rappers,” or “African terrorists,” or “the sassy black friends,” or the black person in the Tyler Perry movies you keep bitching about.” (record scratch – smug look over sunglasses).
So I guess next time when you have a smug or ironic thing to say about a movie that may be off based in it’s methodology, but actually legitimate in it’s purpose, perhaps it would be kinda respectful to offer an alternative way to make it better, perhaps another point of view like, “Oh maybe the Blacks should be content with a separate but equal toilet.” But then that would go against what eventually happened in the 50s and 60s.
Oh yeah, Medgar Evers said good job. (record scratch – smug look over sunglasses).
Bravo.
That is a fantastic parody of a pretentious d-bag who is clueless about this blog and its readers.
Sorry Martin, I guess I should expect a film about desegregation to have subtlety, nuance, and character complexity.
Subtlety: “Whites had laws requesting nicely of Blacks to maybe take into consideration the possibility to use a separate toilet. To sweeten the deal, they’ll have back issues of the Atlantic Monthly and a can of Lysol in the ‘colored’ bathroom.”
Nuance: “From the White Southern perspective there were a 1,000 legitimate reasons to have Michael Cera comedies like ‘Birth of a Nation’ and ‘Songs of the South’.”
Character Complexity: “All of the Southern Belles who wished to enact the new separate toilet laws were actually haunted by the memories of their fathers limiting the career potentials of their mothers, so those repressed feelings are manifested by creating a defecation caste system. One wrote a book about it called ‘The Great Shitini.”
How Emma Got the Coloreds Their Groove Back
IronicWhiteMovieBlogger has really made me think. All this time, I thought it was black people demanding their rights through peaceful protests that caused white people to finally get off their asses and make a change. However, his or her defense of this shitpile of a feel-good movie has made me rethink this. Perhaps it was spunky white girls who led them to the relative equality we see today, one toilet at a time.
Seriously, IWMB? So, no one is allowed to criticize or make fun of any movie if it’s touching on serious historical subject matter? You know one thing that really sticks with people and teaches them great intellectual and emotional lessons? GOOD movies. I think he’s clearly mocking the method not the subject matter, here. The ironic thing is that your parody makes a bunch of prejudiced assumptions about the writer. Funny that.
I was thinking it was one of the other frotcasters screwing around, but this is a whole new level of troll.
Not even a good troll; when their “point” is given away early, yet they just keep writing for paragraphs and paragraphs. It’s like someone talking pointlessly in a bar even after you went to get another beer twenty minutes ago.
No, of course not. A whole new level shouldn’t imply quality.
You’re right, IWMB, I’m going to quit doing that thing where I make jokes and start giving respectful advice. Sounds fascinating.
what the fuck is this garbage?
Actually Vince,
You, Moose2000, Borderline Good, and Martin are right. I was wrong to think that the Awesomeness of Vince could equally take it as well as dish it. But seeing how his fans have defended his right to mock a film about Southern Segregation while claiming that my response was prejudiced in critiquing his posting, (a brilliant display of keyboard aikido there, Boarderline), I guess I didn’t have the right to at least give “The Help” credit for not being another piece of shit that stains African Americans in cinema, rather that provides a reason to appreciate the history of that group on film.
You see kids, for every “Soul Plane,” and “Lottery Ticket,” and “Friday After Next,” you’ll probably have one film at best that doesn’t show African Americans as buffoons, killers, drug addicts, or poster children of Conservative nightmares. Despite what you say, the whole “noble negro” cliche is probably the least damaging compared to what’s been shown over the past 100 years. And when that one movie happens to come out – guys like you – who are typically reasonable for the most part – will rip it to shreds like Rottweilers on a rabbit because there’s a white protagonist who sees the contradiction in a movie storyline and will attempt to make it better: enter Emma Stone, or Kevin Klien (in “Cry Freedom”), or Gene Hackman (in “Mississippi Burning”).
Does it seem patronizing to cinematic experts like you all? Sure. In an ideal world, I would love to see better quality African American cinema, but Spike Lee (yes Motherfuckers I did say Spike Lee), John Singleton, and Lee Daniels can only do so much. All the crappy “black movies were funded by Hollywood. But I would rather see Emma Stone leading a somewhat topical film about Segregation (that may seem patronizing to you all), than to see Mike Epps show up in “Ghetto Stories: The Movie.”
Look, you have the right to rip on movies and have a good laugh (even movies with black folks), but just let it be know that at least one guy tried to contextualize why the occasional appearance of a movie like “The Help” is relevant.
Kind Regards,
IronicWhiteMovieBlogger
p.s. And for the record, don’t tell me “well if you think black movies suck then why don’t you write, direct, and star in a better movie.” That comment misses the point (because I’ve been told that before). It’s like saying, “well if you want your country to be better, then why not run for President.”
“That comment misses the point (because I’ve been told that before). It’s like saying, ‘well if you want your country to be better, then why not run for President.’”
So, what is the point, that you’re a pretentious d-bag who just wanted to point out that everyone else is stupid and you’re smart? I think telling someone that ‘if they want things to change, they should go about changing them’ is great advice, even if you don’t have to be President to do so. I’m sure it feels better to pout, though.
Also, in re: all those pandering movies like Soul Plane, etc.? Guess who made those movies, and went to them in droves? The same sort of people your comments make clear you have a White-Man’s-Burden/Boner for. Equality is letting people do for themselves without being held back or externally thwarted, and letting them live with the consequences of their decisions. It was the paternalistic racists that treat minorities like children that Vince was making fun of to begin with.
Let some air out of your head before it pops, or go find somewhere else to troll. And leave Vince alone; only we’re allowed to make fun of him here, and even then only for having gay/clown/poodle hair.