Black Swan, Darren Aronofsky’s elegant farthouse feature about lesbo scissoring, made $315 million on a $12 million budget, so he’s earned himself the right to at least one esoteric period piece set in the world of renaissance calligraphy or whatever. Which is why studios were so delighted to have him onboard for Wolverine 2, a loser of an unwanted sequel for which they’d normally have to hire Joe Johnston or Stephen Sommers.  But no one really expected him to direct that.  Surprisingly though, the story he’s pitching now is perhaps the only kind more industry-trends approved than an unnecessary sequel of a second-tier comic book movie. It’s an epic adaptation (a “reimagination”, in dipsh*t insider parlance) of a royalty-free fairy tale.  Noah’s Ark, to be exact.

I’m told that town is tantalized by a package circulating with Darren Aronofsky directing. Noah, an edgy…

HE SAID THE SECRET WORD! HE SAID THE SECRET WORD!  (*turns on siren, runs around room with arms above head*)

…re-telling of the Noah’s Ark story. Aronofsky wrote a script that is getting a rewrite by John Logan [Rango, The Aviator, The Last Samurai, Gladiator, Any Given Sunday]. I’ve heard he wants $130 million [a huge budget -- Iron Man's reported production budget was $140m -Ed] to make it and that New Regency is eyeing a co-financing role.  It was described to me as a big fantasy epic, and an opportunity for Aronofsky to create a world. He’s very passionate about it and wants to make it [his ] next film. His move toward Noah comes after Aronofsky recently flirted with Exodus, the 20th Century Fox and Chernin Entertainment-produced telling of the story of Moses, his defiance of the Pharoah and delivery of the Hebrews from enslavement. [Deadline]

So, he was barely finished flirting with Exodus and already he’s tantalizing the whole town with his circulating (helicoptering?) package? Darren Aronosky sounds like a real slut.  But I’m excited for an Aronofsky-directed Noah’s Ark story.  Probably because of the image I get of Mickey Rourke giving his “I’m a broken down piece of meat” speech to a family of giraffes.