Comments of the Week
06.13.11For this week’s comments of the week, I took an unusual and unprecedented step of choosing a winner that actually came from a comment on the Facebook page. I’ll try not to make a habit of it, it’s just that I couldn’t deny this comment on my Super 8 review, because I wish I’d put it this way myself.
Josh M says: My generation (white, male, middle-class Americans between 25 and 35) has the annoying tendency to value nostalgia over emotional and intellectual maturation. At some point, the Wolfman should cease to have nards.
So true. And now for your honorable mentions:
From Girl booted for texting leaves angry message at the Alamo Drafthouse:
Jacktion! says: I heard that the black moviegoers around her complained. “That white girl was using her phone so much, I could barely hear myself yelling at the screen!”
Ax Anderson says: Clearly she was there to see Tree of Life.
From Scene Breakdown: First trailer for Twilight: Breaking Dawn:
Michelle07 says: Eddie Tony Massen Culen, will you put a demon babay in me?
From New Super 8 trailer:
Michelle07 says: I would watch the heck out of some amateur alien films. They’re all meep meep uh huh uh huh ptoo ptoo gazekta gazoink!” That’s good stuff man.
(Michelle’s really good at gibberish).
From Was Brett Ratner gloating about X-Men’s box office:
Ihaveaweirdboner says: “DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE FOODS THAT ARE GOING INTO MY MOUTH”
Lester Hayes Mayes says: On the other hand, Ratner thoroughly enjoyed Matthew Vaughn’s Layercake.
Farthammer says: Brett Ratner watches the Cooking Channel while riding a Sybian.
From Salt will have a sequel with even more of Angelina Jolie’s spazzy running:
Chino Moreno says: Angelina spaz running in Salt 2: Mrs. Dash.
Now that’s how you pun.
From This Week in Posters, DavidNowacki enjoys Spanish Smurf posters:
davidnowacki says: I like Smurf Linda. Usually to get them to the blue-ness of my liking, they have to be Pitufi Estrangulación.
From New Terminator to star Paul Walker, Dean Machine has your first dialog:
Dean Machine says: “Come with me if you want to live, bro.”
From Kevin Smith is producing a reality show and sh*t, Chareth Cutestory commenting and whatnot:
Chareth Cutestory says: I can’t wait for the forthcoming @ikea twitter barrage about how their plönk casting couches are unduly narrow.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Plönk is a real IKEA couch and he looked it up just for this joke.
From Darren Aronofsky planning a Dark ‘n Gritty Noah’s Ark movie:
Electric Mayhem says: God I hope they go with the overexposed “300″ look. “THIS..IS…ARARAT!” (kicks dove off mountain)
And last but not least, from Russell Crowe is pro-Funny Jew Hats, anti-circumcision, while we’re on the subject of baby penises:
Chino Moreno says; I would totally suck a baby’s dick. HAHA! Just kidding. A baby can’t get me drunk!
Thanks for your participation as always, guys and gals. As always, nominate for next week’s by nominating your favorite comments in the comments section of this post below.
Word.


What? Now I’ve got to join the capitalist collective/marketing behemoth that is Facebook in order to read some of the funny stuff? I’d sooner cut off my gazekta gazoink.
Is this just because it’s easier to send slutty pictures of yourself via facebook. I’m looking at you slutty Josh M. PUT ON A SHIRT YA HO!
(Michelle’s really good at gibberish).
She’ll say it’s from talking to her toddler, but we all really know it’s a result of her crippling addiction to fondant.
The fact that Chino’s baby dick joke didn’t win makes me question everything I thought I knew about FilmDrunk.
Stinky Peet, that made me snort!
New up.
Ohhhh, I wouldn’t call it crippling.
*falls into giant pile of powdered sugar.
IT’S SO SWEET WHEN IT HITS YOUR NOSE!!!
At this rate we may need to name the award after her. Chino on [filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Scarfface
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
davidnowacki
Good lord, Olivia Wilde has a big forehead. From now on, women with receding hairlines should be called ‘Girls Gone Wilde’.
Second Chino on the “Scarfface” comment. Bitch has got that elegant simplicity, yo.
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Ace Rimmer
Nia Vardalos is an excellent writer. Scarily excellent. She is so excellent, it is scary.
Now here’s Tom with the weather.
Stinky Peet
I want more. And, I respectfully request more. Much more.
Would making him sit in a room watching her movies while she provided a live commentary violate the Geneva Convention?
Hahaha, I’m kidding, since when do we give a fuck what those cheese-eating fence-sitters want us to do with our enemies.
Stinky Peet
In tomorrow’s HuffPo, hear what Toni Collette thinks about the Anthony Weiner scandal…
Patty Boots
I’d like to imagine the apology as Tracy chewing a mouthful of jelly beans while Alec Baldwin provides a voice over.
Considering Chino got robbed on the inspired baby fellatio joke, just because Facebook guy backed your twee, joyless Super 8 musings… Next week needs to be the make-up call.
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
“Scarfface” is a post of the year candidate. Simple. Elegant. Perfect. (Oh, crap, turning into Nia Vardalos here.)
Bravo, Chino.
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Burnsy
I watched this with C-Tates the other day and his response was: “Goodness, friend, that behavior is a tad trite and unacceptable for proper company.”
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Argentino
Tony Bandana
Second Burnsy. I’d have nommed it myself if I weren’t trying to keep the job from which he tried to get me Hustla’d.
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Michelle 07: Men say my best physical feature is: My earlobes. They’re a handful!
Measurements: 169-14-4
Pet name for my boobs: Squeaky & Shineybear
What I love about my boobs: They speak Mandarin!
A superficial thing I am attracted to: Monkey
My favorite trait in a man: swing set
Well, this is … weird. Same thread, a contribution to world literature from Homo Erectus:
I want to hear the rest of that story. Preferably while taking tea at a literary salon.
(I also enjoyed Charlie Br0nze’s Yorkshire accent in that thread.)
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Burnsy
Gary Busey quits movies every week. He just happened to be in this one.
Jacktion!
He’s only freeing that goat so it can be a customer at his children petting zoo.
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Morton Salt
Their Helen Keller retrospective is magnificent.
Burnsy
My favorite is Franco’s description of him jumping over aquatic wildlife.
Very Clever. From Russel Crow as Superman’s Dad post:
Moose said-
“Crowe is lobbying for the villain to be renamed Scalp-El.”
From bangkok tourism chief admits existence of monkey coke mules
Dingus said:
is anything ever NOT racist, according to the internet?
The Secession of the South…
Shit. Screwed up the HTML on the first line.
From Father’s Day Mash-Up: Cinema’s Worst Dads
ChinoMoreno said:
Oh, if I had a nickel for every time my dad threw his balls in my face…
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Morton Salt
Fuck you Bedlam. Guess what? Ryan Dunn died in a car wreck last night. Guess how many people died in a car wreck since he did? People die horrible deaths daily. People live horrible lives full of pain and suffering. The simple fact that you, or any of us, have internet access and the time to fuck around on FilmDrunk means we show a lack of gravitas and decorum against the backdrop of someone ceasing to exist. Or while some child gets raped. Or while your mom chokes on a hobo’s slimy dick. It’s far more disrespectful to pretend that his death was unique or remarkable. People die horribly every single day. You are the douche-bag for trying to imply that his death somehow matters more because he was “A Mildly Beloved Pseudo-Celebrity”. What’s more, he was Ryan Dunn of Jackass. He wasn’t Jonathan Brandis. He wasn’t Heath Ledger. He wasn’t Edward Norton (trust me on that one). He was a guy who found fame by hurting himself and risking death for laughs. Get off your high horse, and by that, I mean ram it’s giant cock into you ass until it fills you with horse cum. Just like the horse cum Ryan Dunn put in Johnny Knoxville’s sunblock. Which Knoxville freely admits he used for weeks while wondering why it got so stringy. That’s the type of guy Dunn was; the type to appreciate a few good puns about his burning to death in a car wreck.
Or bad puns.
As for our not being funny, have you seen your screen name?