There’ve been a few stories about Vin Diesel and a Chronicles of Riddick sequel going around for the past year, but I usually avoid them because… well, the prospect of that sounds about as interesting as a WWE subplot. But good old Vin Diesel, the same guy who was feeling bullish about 5 Fast 5 Furious’s Oscar chances a few weeks ago, he’s always good for a quote. Honestly, is there anything better than a quote about “artistic integrity” just above a guy with fingerless wrist warmers pulling down his magic space goggles?
[Matt Ufford tells me his eyes look like that because of an eye transplant he was given on a prison planet, which is why Riddick can see in the dark. Mr. Ufford has since been wedgied.]
On Tuesday, Diesel posted a message on his wall telling fans [director David] Twohy had good news — they could start filming this summer — but there was a catch. “[I]n order for us to make a true R rated film, I must work for scale upfront. Not unlike the Find me Guilty experience (which I wouldn’t have changed for the world)… Money is always second to art, integrity and spirit… but the real issue is deeper. Can I suspend my life, to momentarily venture to that dark place… called Riddick. Now, I need to hear from Our collective… you. Wisdom and clarity appreciated,” he wrote.
Oh thank God, my favorite character, the existential buffoon. So you see, the real issue isn’t money, but whether Vin Diesel can stop being Vin Diesel long enough to funnel his essence into that dark Furyan, the one who the prophet foretold would bring about the demise of Necromongers. Is it worth the cost? Spiritually? Perhaps this is one instance where the question is more important than the answer. I leave you to ponder. (*dog ears chapter of Proust, solemnly sips Monster energy drink, rides off on tricked-out Razor scooter*)
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Can we PLEASE kick it over to Terrence Howard for comment?
Vin Diesel should rename his blog Chronicles of Riddickulous.
Does this mean he’s not acting in the other movies, but just being himself, because that would explain a lot.
Vin Diesel should rename his dog Chronicles of Red dick.
He belongs on the Biggest Loser,
And not because of his weight.
I make my movie role choices a quarter-mill at a time.
I think that perhaps we try so hard to avoid the dark places within ourselves, or our “inner Riddicks”, because what we typically find is that there is no “self” there at all; just a predictable machine, programmed to eat, sleep, and fuck.
*record scratch*
Vin Diesel suspending his life to momentarily venture back to Riddick? Sounds like Mission In-Freakin’-Sanity to me
Oh, Riddick. When will you realize that your fight isn’t against the Necromongers, a race of conquerors traveling across space toward the Underverse, a dark mirror of the normal universe where death has no meaning–the real enemy is the INNER ME!
I just tried to read the synopsis for ChronRid and boy DO I AM FEL RETARDIT.
Vin Diesel is so edgy, he cuts his razor shaving.
How does this analogy to Find Me Guilty apply? That was an R rated court drama for grown ups. CoR is eye candy for teens that wear flat brimmed off color team logo hats. Unless this is a stDVD sequel eliminating 70% of your demo with an R rating is just plain stupid.
Vin Diesel is so hip, he makes a Belgian Blue look anorexic.
Its strange that his best role is still as the Iron Giant: a large, powerful, child-like robot who expresses himself through pop-culture cliches and random acts of profound destruction. I wonder how he got into character.
James Upton: So Vin, explain to us about where in your craft process do you find the strength to deliver a line like, “Its been a long time since I smelled beautiful.” without stomping on the throat of the writer and hammering rebar into your eyes?
Hmmm, CoR budgeted $110mil, and grossed $65mil. Hope he isn’t looking past working for scale and expecting a big bite of the back end.
“…Now, I need to hear from Our collective… you…”
Two things strike me as pertinent here. One, capital “Our”? Is that the royal Our? Are We seeking the wisdom of Our you? Two, why are you asking your fans for advice on this? Four Loko slurping bumblefucks collecting cans to buy a new skate deck aren’t particularly known for their nuanced acumen.
Judi Dench must be worried that Vin still has those photos of her fucking Bin Laden.
F’this, I’m going to go piss into the Fukushima Diiachi NPP.
space prisons have killer fucking vision coverage.
God, he doesn’t have glowing eyes because he got prison surgery. It was suggested in the sequel and then confirmed in the Escape from Butcher Bay computer game that he actually got his sight from a magical gift from the spirits of his long dead people, so that he could be their avenger and…
*is stuffed into locker*
Is this coming from the same Vin Diesel who refused to do the first sequel of this should-be-winning-awards series because they wouldn’t pay him $20 million?
I don’t wanna do this but I’m gonna have to get a little serious here. I’m a huuuuuge Riddick Fan, even the mediocre TCOR holds a special place in my heart. I want them to make this movie just so that I can stop hoping for them to, whether it sucks or not.
You know too much about the plot not to be a closet fan! It’s pretty rare that an Action Figure like Vin is also a D&D/comic book fan outside of a talk-show set. In this film Riddick defeats the Cenobites by dragging the ‘puzzle box’ behind his space-ship and crashing it into stuff; kapow!
Ax> I feel you, those games were surprisingly good.
Vin Diesel will play James Franco in the James Franco directed, written and catered with soul food by James Franco biographic film.
Ah, the Riddles of Chronic.
“Wisdom and clarity appreciated.”
… Because I’m sh*t out.
Can’t we see a Pitch Black sequel instead?
*dodges tomato
I only registered to comment on this. I was shocked to see a man trashing Vin Diesel, oh no wait, I wasn’t. Here is what goes no in most of the minds of the whinny bitches who trash him “OH NO!! He makes my girlfriend all moist in her lady parts, he must be a bad man.” You can make fun of his talent, and his posts all you want, but the man knows how to talk to his real fan base. So just remember no matter what you think of him, your girlfriend has her eyes closed and his imagining that she is gripping his firm hot ass instead of you pasty flabby basement dwelling ass. You all know you have imagined another woman a million times. So, sorry guys payback is hell. I am a woman, I think he is hot, but I also have a non basement dwelling hot boyfriend and guess how many times he has put Vin Diesel down (the answer is none, because he isn’t threatened by Vin Diesel)