This Week in Posters: 30 Minutes or Less, Paul Blart: Zookeeper

And here's the other half of the poster, featuring the good guys, Jesse Eisenberg and Aziz Ansari.  Nothing special, but I guess with a wild premise like this, you can sort of just lay it out there.  Still, a couple lens flares would've been nice, or at least a rom-com lean.

[also via YahooMovies]

Anonymous.

So Roland Emmerich, a director best known for filming actors reacting to giant green screen explosions, made a film about whether Shakespeare's plays were actually written by Shakespeare.  The trailer had swordfights, burning buildings, and cannons, but I can see how the graphic designer might have been confused into thinking he was doing a poster about costumes and ink.

[via FirstShowing]

Buck.

This one's a documentary about a real-life horse whisperer, and the poster doesn't do much to make it sound more interesting than that. But I'm going to continue pretending that there was an "Uncle" in the title.  (*spraypaints JOHN CANDY'S NOT DEAD on bus stop*)

Well at least the Asian cars aren't yellow.

Oct-TOW-berfest, because he's a tow truck, get it?  Okay, that was kind of cute.  Plus I enjoy the implied alcoholism.

Father's Day.

It's a Troma release, so there's a good chance none of us will ever see it, but even in 2011 I'm embarrassed to say that I'm still intrigued by a sexy lady smooshing her breast with her arm.  I guess there's some other stuff going on in this poster as well.

IronClad.

I didn't believe the poster could have a more Jesus Didn't Tap vibe than the trailer, but then BOOM!  They go with "HEAVY METAL GOES MEDIEVAL" as the tagline.  And you know what happens when heavy metal goes medieval, don't you?  Bodies hit the floor, obviously.

Here's the UK poster for the same film.  This one looks reminds me of the first teasers for The Social Network, which was just footage of people updating their Facebook statuses, but they put an epic kids choir behind it so it felt all life-affirming.  Cool poster, but tell me more about this Excited Russian Man Eating a Watermelon.  He steals the film, from what I hear.

Page One.

Page One is of course the documentary about a year inside the New York Times.  Typical old media, thinking people still come to movie posters to read.  No wonder they're going out of business.

[via Movieline]

The Future.

Well la di da, I'm Miranda July. You might as well not know what my movie's about.  It's probably too smart for you anyway.

X-Men, French poster.

X-Men poster designer guy is determined to ride these diagonal angles into the ground.  Other brilliant guidelines displayed here: make sure the girl with the cleavage is farthest from the camera, put the guys with the oddly-Photoshopped faces up front. Make sure the pretty girl in the Mystique makeup is in full blue-skin, Nic Cage hairline mode.  Perfect.

The Ledge.

A thriller in which a battle of philosophies between a fundamentalist Christian and an atheist escalates into a lethal battle of wills.

The last poster made it look like a rom-com, so I guess this Hitchcock homage is a little more apt.  Look at old Terrence Howard up there on the right.  He looks like he's about to break into a scat poem about the proper use of baby wipes.

[Posters via IMPA]