Director Philip Noyce, who most recently filmed 100-pound waif Angelina Jolie parkouring off overpasses, truck-surfing, and pummeling trained soldiers in Salt, is set to bring his trademark realism to a remake of the 1988 Jean-Claude Van Damme classic, Bloodsport. It’s all part of Hollywood’s ongoing initiative, “Hey, Remember the 80s?”
Veteran producer Ed Pressman is in Cannes with news on three projects. Pressman has closed deals with Phillip Noyce to direct and Robert Mark Kamen to script a reinvention of iconic Jean Claude Van Damme actioner Bloodsport (1988).
Alberto Lensi is producing with Pressman. The story will follow an American who goes to Brazil to recover from the violence he has experienced in Afghanistan who gets involved in a martial arts contest. [ScreenDaily]
Gosh, I wonder if it will include cameos by some of mixed martial arts’ hottest stars. Pressman, meanwhile, is also producing the remake of The Crow starring goth icon Bradley Cooper, which makes him something of a titan in the field of awesome-idea having. Today’s announcement comes just as Kevin James’ MMA-saves-the-rec-center film, Here Comes the Boom, is midway through filming. Perhaps they could start over and just combine two projects into one zany, MMA-themed romp, Blartsport Beware his deadly fists, and even deadlier farts.
And for no reason at all, here’s a picture of Chuck Liddell with Taboo from the Black-Eyed Peas. Is he wearing… his own voodoo doll as a necklace? [via CagePotato]
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I can see it now, the big strong van dam is replaced by a 92 pound girl who took three whole gymnastics classes. Can she win against giant hulking asian killers? Of course she can because physics is bullshit.
Bloodsport Showband > Rachel McAdam’s butt. There, I said it.
It is taboo to have sex with that guy.
That chinaman’s chest is bigger and firmer then Rachel Mcadams butt.
I don’t normally believe in voodoo, but I’d like to test it by stabbing that doll in the gut. Just as an experiment in pursuit of truth.
Forest Whitaker as Rawlins or GTFO.
I thought Bloodsport was a movie about a chick in her period.
Sounds interesting, but is there any way to cast one of Will Smith’s kids in it?
The story will follow an American who goes to Brazil to recover from the violence he has experienced in Afghanistan who gets involved in a martial arts contest.
So a new film with a different plot, cast, and crew, but with the same title,
because it couldn’t possibly stand up on its own dubious meritsas an homage to its great forebear.“Blartsport”? How about “Bloodfart”? Paul Blart’s taking the world of MMA by storm with his controversial but not-yet-banned “noxious fart” move. That is, until his colon polyps start flaring up…
Why yes, Hollywood, I do accept personal checks.
The Chong Li gif is killing me! Brilliant, sir. It’s like gold: I don’t care if you made it or found it, it’s still valuable!
I have an idea for a movie. Its about this guy who does MMA in a post-apocalyptic world when he meets a cyborg carrying information about his past. Turns out he was a 2nd gulf war veteran who is actually a robot, and his son (played by chet hayes) has been kidnapped by the mayor of Old New Florida. Turns out, that the mayor is actually an old super computer.
Drummer: “oooooh Jean, I think you’ve been doing to much coke bro. You’re nose is bleeding”.
Jean: “I dont give a SHEEEEEET”!!!!
The story will follow an American who goes to Brazil to recover from the violence he has experienced in Afghanistan who gets involved in a martial arts contest.
Man nothing says a little well deserved R&R from combat like…entering a fucking to the death, underground MMA tourney? Fire your travel agent bro.
Every time I see Bolo Yeung I think about my uncle Frank. He got steamcooked while on jury duty in hong kong. He was a man so aggressively bald, his daughter turned to xenu. he had to tie flies to his jacket, like a reverse cork hat. I will miss uncle Frank. He died while looking for his pregnant daughter in mexico
The ’80s sucked, and the only people who don’t think so are either too young to have remembered them or are hardcore Reaganites; IOW, effing idiots, both of them, who need to be set on fire.
I have a picture of myself with Chuck and he’s doing the same hang loose hand gesture while my voodoo doll is anatomically correct and fully aroused
As long as they are staying away from Kickboxer i’m fine with this.
KUMITE!!!
Bloodsport is soild, they need to not do this. Can Robert Mark Kamen do the splits between two chairs while grabbing gold fish out of a samurai’s hand???
In other news, Donald Gibb (aka Ray Jackson, “you look like a Jackson”) is currently starring in those Capital One “pillagers” commercials. I’m glad he’s moved on to bigger and better things.
That gif always makes me laugh like will.i.am when Fergie starts rapping.
Has anyone tried to watch Bloodsport again “recently”? Hooooly fuck I’d need to be tripping balls to sit through that…like heroin or meth or household cleaner or all of them together.