Pirates-4-powdered-wig-guy

I’ve heard from a few different people who’ve seen early cuts of Pirates 4, and they’ve all said it’s bad — like insultingly bad, even compared to the last few — and I have no reason to doubt them based on the last clip we saw, which had all the fight choreography of a Nickelodeon sitcom about a talking horse.  But a little sucking never slowed this franchise down, and according to the Hollywood Reporter, Terry Rossio has already finished his script for the next installment (5IRATES OF THE 5ARIBBEAN? FIVERATES OF THE CARIFIVEAN?).  Frankly, the most surprising part of this story was learning that Pirates movies have scripts.

Producer Jerry Bruckheimer has said he’s in to make a fifth Pirates. And sources say Disney has made overtures to Rob Marshall, who took over directing duties on Pirates 4 from Gore Verbinski, who helmed the first three pictures, to return for another go-round (though no deal is in place for Marshall). But they key question mark is star Johnny Depp. Will he sign on for a fifth installment in the franchise?

“It boils down to story, script and filmmaker,” Depp tells THR. “It’s not something where I would say, ‘Let’s shoot it next month to get it out by Christmas 2012,’” he says. “We should hold off for a bit. They should be special, just like they are special to me.” [THR]

Yes, special, like McDonald’s french fries, or special sauce.  Aw man, now I’m hungry.  (*swings out window on a chandelier, juggles priceless vase, ruins fancy dinner party*)