MONKEY IN A DRESS! MONKEY IN A DRESS!
A monkey in a dress stole the show at last night's Hangover 2 premiere in Hollywood, which is a fine metaphor for all movie premieres. If the world does end tomorrow, this is probably how I deserve to be remembered: giggling at a monkey wearing a dress, trying to think of a pearl-necklace joke. Pictures come courtesy of the Daily Mail, where I found this, perhaps the finest line in the history of journalism:
"But it wasn't Crystal's outfit that stole the show at the premiere of the Hangover 2 last night, but the fact she's a monkey."
Game over, man, game over.
Holy. Sh*t. Quick, someone put that monkey over a vent that blows her skirt up.
This is the essence of every Hollywood movie premiere. "DANCE MONKEY! SHOW US YOUR DRESS!"
If they started doing inter-species versions of "Who wore it best" I would read the sh*t out of US Weekly.
"Oh hey, girl. Yeah, it's Dolce & Banana."
[thanks, Chino]
"Try to snap one her getting out of cab! See if you can get a shot of her monkey fufu!"
"Uh, I'm here for the gangbang?"
Oh, and Robert Downey Jr. was there. I think he stole Mickey Rourke's outfit. Nice boots, brah. He must've tucked the pants into them to keep out the monkeys. (*taps temple with index finger*) Smart.
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The monkey is there for the Changbang.
See, cats and dogs are, at best, indifferent to our costumed shenanigans, being thoroughly domesticated races, but putting a monkey in a costume and making it dance for the audience is little short of animal abuse. Fuck, this makes me irrationally angry. I’ll go away now.
Dolce & Banana
I love the ass off this post. It is beyond me how those movies about the monkey who could skateboard and snowboard didn’t win ever oscar ever. What the balls were they called again? XXX & XXX II: Electric Boogaloo?
God fucking dammit, Chino. I was sitting here for 15 minutes trying to think of a monkey-fashion designer pun. Fucking fuck. I just know these motherfuckers gave me decaf by accident. Fuck it, I’m using that.
Aaaaaawwwww. She dresses better than half of Hollywood.
*Every Oscar ever. Sorry, I got so excited seeing the monkey pose for pictures that I started typing with my fists
-1 for not naming it Marilyn Monkeyrow.
What, no pictures of her picking nits off Melissa Rivers?!
I wonder if Crystal’s plus-one was Annie’s Boobs.
Crystal is Annie’s Boobs. Same Monkey. True Story.
I’d prefer Annie’s Boobs out of a dress.
“So say we all!”
-Edward James Olmos (and every other guy)
OMG. No wonder she works so well with Ken Jeong.
In fact, the scene with Annie’s Boobs whacking Chang on the head in the air vent was conceived because she was comfortable with him from the Hangover shoot.
Actually, if she’s Annie’s Boobs, she should be wearing a tasteful cardigan and cute flats.
Chimpin ain’t easy.
Decaf Vancey? You knew this post demanded Capuchin-o.
Morty, that’s pretty adorable.
That Oprah cleans up nice….
Bah, capuChin-o gives it that extra level.
Let’s hope she doesn’t sell out and star in talking animal movies.
Jeff Winger: “Why do you have a monkey?”
Troy Barnes: “It’s an animal that looks like a dude. Why don’t I have ten of them?
This may be my favorite film drunk post ever. It has given me the strength to roll out of bed and start my day. Thank you Vince for your comedic goodness. I’ll miss you when the rapture takes you home to be with Macho Man.