Kevin over at NextMovie sent over this video of Insane Clown Posse (is it really accurate to call two guys a “posse”?) reviewing Water for Elephants. Which makes me jealous of Kevin, because it sounds like he’s got ICP on speed dial. It would be amazing to be able to call them at all hours of the night and just talk, you know? (“Whatcha thinkin’ ’bout?” “Mmmm… giraffes.”)
It’s interesting that they reviewed the Reese Witherspoon-Robert Pattinson romance Water for Elephants, because it was a film I also reviewed, and which, despite its flaws, I quite enjoyed. It’s interesting to me that of all people, Insane Clown Posse don’t seem able to see past the cheesy love story. To re-purpose a famous turn of phrase, if the cheesy R-Pattz love story is all you ever see, than it’s easy to miss the miracle of the circus hobo drunks, an elephant shootin’ whiskey out its long-ass trunk. Shaggy 2 Dope basically calls it a chick flick, which is certainly fair, but the review jumps the shark around the 1:14 mark when neither guy recognizes Christoph Waltz, and say only that he looks like James Woods. “Why use a slightly James Woods? Just use James Woods,” they ask.
What?!?! Christoph Waltz was the best part of the movie! Oh, Shaggy 2 Dope, you poor ignorant retard. Have you not seen Inglourious Basterds? How am I supposed to respect your opinions as film critics when you 1. haven’t seen Inglourious Basterds, and 2. can’t recognize the obvious brilliance of Christoph Waltz? I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t take these clowns seriously after that.
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Fucking subtlety, how does it work?
To re-purpose a famous turn of phrase, if the cheesy R-Pattz love story is all you ever see, than it’s easy to miss the miracle of the circus hobo drunks, an elephant shootin’ whiskey out its long-ass trunk.
It may seem carnivalesque to you, but to Shaggy it’s just another day on Juggalo Island.
They’re easily the wealthiest and most influential clown rappers.
Fuckin’ magnates, how do they work?
Four Shotgun Weddings and a Juggalo Baby Funeral
Well there goes their shot at landing roles in Water For Elephants 2
[Emerges and tumbles from elephant's rectum]
Because when I think about quality, informative film reviews, I think about fat halfwit pseudochristians in face paint.
That pelican is all feathery and miracle-y and I wuv it.
Fucking blogging, how does it work?
Juggalos are right to be scared of love. I’ve seen their women.
Considering their appearance, maybe they are trying to be ironically retarded?
Which is worse–not knowing who Christoph Waltz is, or knowing who he is but failing to realize that his performance in Inglourious Basterds was a masterpiece of black comedy? The insufferable Nikki Finke over at Deadline recently posted a goofy video of him on Kimmel and was like, “I had no idea he could do comedy!”
[www.deadline.com]
I think they’re mad the water didn’t spray faygo out of its trunk
*Elephant wow
I get the feeling everyone over 45 to them looks like James Woods and everyone under looks like 1980′s McCauly Culkin.
“So then James Woods bumps into another James Woods, in some kind of dual role, I guess. They talk about how 1980′s McCauly Culkin is ruining their lives. Damn you, 1980s Culkin.”
To be fair, most movies would benefit from more James Woods.