It’s almost summer, and I’m sure you’re all on pins and needles wondering what the lineup for this year’s Gathering of the Juggalos will be.  (“Last year’s festival rocked!” said Tila Tequila).  To top it, this year, the gang at Psychopathic Records will be trying to secure the services of spoken-word superstar Charlie Sheen, according The Village Voice’s recent interview with Violent J.  Presumably, Sheen would be slotted in somewhere between readings of David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest and seminars on alternative energy.

That maybe even possibly maybe includes Ass Dan.
“I’m gonna try,” Violent J says about recurring SNL character/Juggalo spoof on South Park‘s Kenny. “I think people would go crazy.” Ass Dan actor Bobby Moynihan was at ICP’s recent Gramercy Theatre show, semi-incognito.

Charlie Sheen, maybe?
“That’d be super fresh,” says J. “That’s one of those situations where I don’t know how good it would turn out or not, but I know everybody would want to see what happens.” In fact they’re already on it. “We had a meeting the other day and we were trying to look it up, our options, and different ways to go about it. We are all about trying to get Charlie Sheen.” [VillageVoice]

I doubt they’d be able to afford him, which is a shame because he’d make a perfect guest. I imagine there’s a lot of crossover between Juggalettes and Potential Sheen Goddesses (the center of that Venn Diagram is “herpes sufferers”).  The Violent Torpedoes of Truth and Flaming Poop Bags of Justice Tour, they could call it.