vindiesel-shark-rail-grind2

Despite the fact that the character Xander Cage was killed in a short film released with the xXx 2: State of the Union DVD, Vin Diesel told anyone who would listen at a junket for Fast Five in Rio de Janeiro that he will indeed still reprise his role as the extreme-sports-star-turned-government-agent for xXx 3: The Return of Xander Cage. Thank God.

“There are these rumours about xxx 3”, Diesel says, “But without giving too much away, that’s the character I can really sexy with.”

In other words, yes, he’s still interested and by all indications, the project is still a go.

Oh, and yes, Diesel and Cohen are quite aware that they killed off Diesel’s character – in the short film that’s on the “xXx 2 : The Next Level” DVD – but like Billy Zane in “Dead Calm”, nobody stays dead in moviedom. (Via Movie Hole)

That’s the character that I can really sexy with? What the f*ck does that even mean? Was that quote written on an iPhone with autocorrect? Regardless, it’s stupid to keep pointing out that Xander was blown up in a warehouse building in the aforementioned short film and that his scalp was splattered on the ground, because as the writer notes, movies are made by morons. So how will they convince us that Xander survived that explosion? Here’s my pitch…

Xander enters the warehouse to check on his collection of antique jet skis and have his standard Wednesday orgy with 14 super models. As the bomb detonates, Xander quickly douses himself with Monster Energy Drink and pisses a force field to protect himself from the flames. After the initial blast, Xander wrestles a lion while base jumping to his basement garage and the lion rips his scalp off in the process. Luckily, Xander has a stem cell lab in his custom 1969 GTO that also doubles as a hovercraft.

*holds out hand*

Oscar, please.