This week’s installment of This Week in Posters is a short one, because for whatever reason, not a lot of posters hit this week. But we’ve got multiple sexy-dance flicks to discuss, so it’s clearly a case of quality triumphing over quantity.
First up, courtesy of WildAboutMovies, it’s the poster for Go For It, which is probably this week’s most wildly generic offering. It stars Aimee Garcia as Carmen, “a good student with a bad attitude who lives for dancing in the underground clubs of Chicago.”
I’ve never heard of Aimee Garcia. Could she really be so hard to lock down for a poster shoot? And as long as we’re photoshoppin’, how about a facial expression? I’m not sure an exclamation point in the title brings the automatic excitement they think it does.
Is this an ad for boots? Who screwed with my vertical split? (*scrolls down*) Phew, there they are. As they came of age, their lives got turned upside down, this seems be saying.
Courtesy of GordonandtheWhale, it’s the poster for How to Live Forever, about “Baby boomer Mark Wexler traveling the world searching for the secrets of long life.”
All I know is, you put an old guy drinking and smoking on the poster and I’m sold. I also like that the review quote at the top comes from the AARP. You don’t see that often.
Finally, some mainstream stuff. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, courtesy of IMPA. Hmm, we may have to re-do this one. I’m just not sure Johnny Depp has enough accessories. It looks like he has three friendship bracelets and a meat thermometer in his hair.
Aw, yeah, girl power, son. The Judd Apatow-produced female Hangover gets a poster heavy on the review quotes. They get extra points for choosing quotes from respectable online critic types, but the font is so small it makes it look like they’re trying to sneak a Pete Hammond in there. Though I suppose the lack of wedding puns should have been a dead giveaway. “Bridesmaids will have you saying ‘I do!'” “Audiences will jump for this sweet bouquet!” “Bridesmaids will make you despise that showboatin’ bitch AND her terrible taste in overpriced dresses!”
Okay, maybe not that last one. Hey, I’m riffing here.
[via IMPA]
It’s the UK one-sheet for Cedar Rapids. Hmm. By now I’m sure you’re all aware that I was a fan of this movie, but I really don’t know what it has to do with The Hangover besides Ed Helms. Perhaps I’ll go back and reassess, critic whose name I can’t read. Ed Helms looks like he’s carrying a sailor suit and oversized novelty dildo in that suitcase.
Also, is it just me, or does “quirky and fun” almost sound like a backhanded insult at this point? Calling something “quirky” is almost like calling it “zany” these days.
And now it’s the Australian poster for Priest. QUICK, TO THE BUTTHOLE CYCLES! “In a world… where everything’s diagonal…”
I can’t decide whether this borrows more from Tron or the batcycle from Dark Knight. But let’s focus on the tagline:
THE WAR IS ETERNAL. HIS MISSION IS JUST BEGINNING.
So it’s an eternal battle that just goes on and on in perpetuity regardless of who wins individual skirmishes? Sounds like Lord of the Rings.
You were promised Honey 2 and Honey 2 you shall receive. THIS SUMMER… THE MOST NECESSARY SEQUEL OF ALL TIME! IT’S HONEY 2! NOW WITH EVEN MORE INTERRACIAL DANCING!
I can’t believe it’s been eight years since the original. Do you want to see the trailer? Of course you do!
I can’t remember the last time a sequel just put a simple “2” after the title. I would’ve gone with “Honey 2: The Sexening,” or something equally sexy. This time around, Maria is fresh out of a juvenile detention center and ready to set the world on fire with her gyrating, dancing in the studio Jessica Alba built. Only the hottest dance crew in town, The 718, tells her she’s not good enough. That’s when Maria hooks up with a dude so white he’s wearing plaid for the entire trailer. Will there be dance battles? YOU BETTER BELIEVE THERE WILL BE DANCE BATTLES! And then, just when you least expect it, BOOM! Mario Lopez. Peace out, homes, you just got Slater’d.
“Dancing is the way I say the things I wanna say.”
I feel the same way about my hip thrusts.