Just in case you were worried things were going to get all serious and long-formy around here after that Chappelle review, I’m bringing it all back to normal with this video of a bull terrier pleasuring himself. Poor Spuds Mackenzie, every family’s got a waste-of-space brother who just sits around masturbating all day.
MORNING LINKS
MEET OUR NEW UPROXX EDITOR, THE CAJUN BOY! HE CAME FROM GAWKER! RESPECT HIS AUTHORITAI! On that note, here’s Anton Chigur re-imagined as a balloon clown. |Uproxx|
Bastard tornado stole this guy’s hamburger. |WarmingGlow|
Hahaha, “wrench f*ck.” |KissingSuzyKolber|
PICTURED: Hire this man!
Tiny, tiny crossbow has big, big heart. |GammaSquad|
Read my super-long review of Dave Chappelle being super buff now. Indulge my literary pretensions! INDULGE THEM! |FilmDrunk|
Carrie Underwood watches her hockey player hubby engage in a donnybrook. |WithLeather|
Mom spends six years making her daughter’s prom dress out of Starburst wrappers. More importantly, they’re both kind of hot. |TheDailyWhat|
Ain’t no cat fight like an 8 am cat fight. Damn. |BostonStool|
Here’s one of Hef’s ex-sluts in a bikini. Eh, at least it’s the one with real boobs. |TheSuperficial|
Lindsay Lohan is not in any new movie part 2. |WWTDD|
Woman arrested for vibrator-dilling herself while watching porn and trying to drive. |NYCStool|
10 awesome FPS Russian videos bring Call of Duty to life. |UnrealityMag|
Mortal Kombat: Legacy, episode 2. |GorillaMask|
The full-body bump is the dumbest thing in sports. |HolyTaco|
Timberlake hosting SNL season finale. |ScreenJunkies|
NOMINATE FOR COMMENTS OF THE WEEK. BUY FILMDRUNK SHIRTS. THE FROTCAST (OUR PODCAST) ON iTUNES. FILMDRUNK ON FACEBOOK. FILMDRUNK ON TWITTER.
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I’ve never seen a dog that can obey “Sit!” and “Come!” simultaneously.
It’s nice to see at least one copy of Oodles of Poodles is being enjoyed.
Even dogs have jack off couches now.
My cats like to fight at 3:00 AM when I’m trying to sleep.
I never thought about how hard it must be to masturbate without opposable thumbs until just now.
More cushion for the pushin’
Bad dog! I told you to fluff the pillows!
That lady should know it’s illegal to drive while being buzzed.
Shheeeeeeeeyet
He was totally ashamed.
Time is nigh to turn to the shame-based man…
I’m sooooo wet right now
Who taught dogs how to be bloggers?
That JO video was bullshit, where is the money shot? no big finish? This is the worst animal porn I have ever seen.
*brushes dorritos off shirt, queues up monkey raping a frog on youtube*
Hmm, must have missed that.
*searches for “parry gripp monkey raping a frog” on youtube*
I couldn’t make out what they were saying before the fight started but I think they were arguing over who had the nicest yard.
And that, right there, is a pup with mad skillz: he switches hands like a boss!