When it was announced that Dimension’s worldwide smash cult quasi-hit Piranha 3D would have a sequel, the obvious joke going around was that it should be called “Piranha 3DD”. You know, because of all the titteez. The Piranha franchise being dedicated to nothing so much as running with an obvious joke (especially if it involves titteez), Dimension has announced that the official title will actually be Piranha 3DD (Piranha 3 double D). I’ll be expecting my royalty check any day now, you guys. Though I will also accept payment in the form of, you guessed it, titteez.
From the latest press release (via distributor The Weinstein Company).
Principal photography is now underway in Wilmington, NC on PIRANHA 3DD, being directed by John Gulager (FEAST).
There’s something in the water . . . again.
You’d think they would’ve learned not to go in the water by now, but… they haven’t.
And this time no one is safe from the flesh eating fish as they sink their razor sharp teeth into the visitors of the best summer attraction, The Big Wet Water Park. Featuring a talented ensemble cast including Danielle Panabaker (THE CRAZIES), Matt Bush (ADVENTURELAND), Chris Zylka (THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN), David Koechner (ANCHORMAN), Meagan Tandy (UNSTOPPABLE), Paul James Jordan, Jean-Luc Bilodeau, Hector Jimenez, Adrian Martinez, Clu Gulager and more cast to be announced soon.
I enjoy that they take great pains to trumpet the involvement of Hollywood A-lister Jean-Luc Bilodeau but say nothing of the fact that the script was written by the guys behind Saw V, VI, and VII. Probably a wise decision. Take this as a lesson, guy who insists on writing “From the mind of M. Night Shyamalan” on stuff.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/09/thepianist.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/05/Cellmates-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/05/Gary-Busey-overalls-piranha-3DD-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/04/Piranha-150x150.jpg)
You will never, ever convince me that Clu Gulager is actually a real person’s name.
EVER.
I don’t know how they could top the first though. “They took my penis!” – Jerry O’Connell
INCREDIBLE SEQUEL IDEA: Make it about a flesh-eating catfish called Purr-anha.
Not only is he a real person, he’s also the director’s father, and a fairly well-known old actor:
[en.wikipedia.org]
From now on this movie will only be referred by me as Piranha 38DD
Aw, hell. But Wilmington is my beach. How am I supposed to feel remotely confident in a bathing suit when there are a bunch of porn stars running around?
DAMN YOU, NC FILM INDUSTRY.
god i love when you have an excuse to use that picture of those two skanks.
@The Hammer- James Cameron and Jerry O’Connell?
You’re gonna need a bigger pastie.
Grilled cheese with gravy on top: From the mind of M. Night Shyamalan.
I suspect Cameron’s accoutrements are less about the girls in biknis than about the excitment of duping someone into using his 3D process.
This seems like an unfair standard of beauty for those carnivorous fish to live up to.
If anyone needs me, I’ll be writing a screenplay for the eighth film in the franchise, titled Piranha 8====>~~~
Fuck me. Piranha 8===D~~~
What part of “NEVER” did you not understand?
By the end of it, my whorex wound up with a flesh eating fish taco.
You tripped over that “wound” didn’t you? Well wash your dick of before the flesh eating yeast annihilates it!
You see, her hatched wound wound up being a fishy dispensary of death.
[Puts head to chest of horse]
Yup, still dead. Hey! N’up!
(*adds extra dick-biting scenes, changes title to Piranha 8==/=D*)
“Wet t-shirts!” /coughs up blood
“Wet t-shirts…” /coughs up more blood, dies
-Jerry O’Connell
Clu Gulager is still alive? Or will they be using his corpse as a victim in one of the “fish in an eating frenzy scenes?” It’s the least he can do for his son.