I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, but death is kind of a bummer. Tuesday, Alice Ward, the 79-year-old Lowell, Massachusetts mother to a boxing champ and a 
Alice Ward, 79, the mother of eight who managed both sons’ boxing careers, was taken off life support at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital on Tuesday after lapsing into a coma.
“She was a great mother who had a big heart and loved everybody fully,” Micky told the Track. “She had 19 grandchildren and 19 great-grandchildren, and she loved them all.
Back in January, Alice suffered a heart attack, a stroke and was “dead” for 45 minutes. But in true Ward fashion, she rallied, regained consciousness and began breathing on her own, Dicky Eklund told the Lowell Sun, the family’s hometown paper.
Funeral services for Alice Ward will be held tomorrow at St. Margaret’s in Lowell. [BostonHerald]
She is suhvived by the whole crew from the neighbahhood — Fitzy, Lahdass, Tawmmy, Wawp Tawmmy, Squeezebawx, Pink Eye, Rich, Spic Rich, Gloansy’s whoah sistah, Bahnsy, Hoahse Lips, Matt Damon, Irish Pete, Stinky, Mike the Dahkie, Matt Damon, and Matt Damon. AND DON’T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT DISRESPECTIN OWAH MOTHAH BY BRINGIN THAT MTV HOOKAH TO THE FYUNRIL, CAWKSUCKAH. Boo Boo, wheyah’d you pahk the caaah!
Sorry, I couldn’t resist. She will be missed.
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Only one boxing champ out of eight kids? Geez, that’s like batting .125, if she were a baseball player the fans would be screaming for the manager to pull the plug already.
Too soon? Too soon.
That MTV bitch thinks shes so great cause she went ta college
If only someone would take a pillow to Melissa Leo.
Looks like she’s put life in her reahview.
Go sawx!
I am amazed. She was from Lowell, Mass. and her crew actually had a dahkie in it?
faaak you charlene
“She had 19 grandchildren and 19 great-grandchildren, and she loved them all.”
But not as much as she loved crack. The End.
Responding to Ms. Ward’s question of who could possibly have recovered from the physical and emotional trauma she’d suffered God was heard to reply “NAWT YOU!”
Only four of the sisters are gonna get wicked piss drunk at the funeral. The other three keeping it classy by just not showing up.
[...]
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Coco’s sister is a fox, I wish she used 4 square
Dude, is that Dicky’s Mom?
CILF! CIIIILLLLFFFF!!!
Banner pic. Center frame between Mickey and his dead motha’. That guy is Crapbasket’s dad.
True story.
Silly swi, the ‘stach is my Da, that guy is just the milkman. Ma named me after him though, and he always called me junior… odd, eh?
8 kids, 19 grandkids, 19 great grandkids and only foah retahds. Nawwt bad foah Lowell.
True to Stanislavski’s method, after reading this newa Melisa Leo rushed to Inglewood and purchased a pound of cocaine.
“She was a great mother who had a big heart and loved everybody fully”
Maybe a little too big?
Dickey: Hey, Mickey! You remembah when ouah deah mothah Alice was broke and had to survive off nothin’ but Flutie Flakes and free crack she scoahed from that dahkie dealah?
Mickey: Yeah.
Dickey: Well say hello to ouah haff-brothah “Jamawl”.
Mickey: NOOO! Alice, you dead whoah!
I guess it’s a good time for those 19 grandchildren and 19 great children to go will hunting
Spoiler alert… geez…