Pictures: Abstinent vampires consummate like THIS

Part one of the final chapter of Twilight, Breaking Dawn, aka Snorkels the Vampire Fetus, opens in November, featuring Edward the chaste vampire finally consummating his inexplicable love for his sullen, charmless bride (ALL HE WANTS TO DO IS EAT HER, BUT HE CAN'T, BECAUSE HER SMELL DRIVES HIM CRAZY).  But already, images of Stephenie Meyer's childlike notions of romance that she saw in a perfume commercial are all over the web.  "Oh, Bella, when we finally touch I'm going to French you so hard.  This is going to be the Frenchiest French kiss in the history of French, numnumnumnumnum..."

Anyway, here's a bunch of new pictures from the movie, courtesy of the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly, the most important news magazine in the universe.  But I must warn you, most of them are the boring, Stephenie Meyer Superego part of the story that looks like a corny Mervin's ad, not the awesome Stephenie Meyers id stuff with the broken wombs, severed spines, telepathic vampire fetuses, and werewolf-on-baby man love.  I like that stuff a lot better.