Commenter "Spazmodic" just won the send-me-a-picture-of-your-filmdrunk-shirt contest by a wide margin

Commenter "Spazmodic" just won the send-me-a-picture-of-your-filmdrunk-shirt contest by a wide margin.

Another week, another batch of comments, another shirt to give away.  I still have shirts left, though I am running out of sizes.  If it so happens that I don’t have the winner’s size, I also have a copy of Troma’s Blood Oath to give away.

First, I may have to disqualify “spemka“, seeing as how she (I assume it’s a she) commented on a post that’s more than a year old (Taylor Lautner’s Abs in the New Moon Poster Aren’t Taylor Lautner’s), but this is pure comments-section gold.  (Just imagine I wrote [sic] before each misspelling).

spemka says: you must be SSO BLIND!! :O havent you seen the movies?? are you actually trying to make us believe that they modaged tay’s body in every single second???? :O and you know TAYLOR’S BODY IS WAY BETTER THAN THIS NO PANTS GUY!!!!!! I can’t believe you can actually believe all that. This would bee really pathetic. I consider that,ok, let’s say THIS IS AA PHOTOSHOP, I agree, tay has a LOT OF ABS and they are freaking hot!! thats all i can say.

At first I thought by “no pants guy” she meant me, which would’ve been slightly clever, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.  Since Spemka is disqualified, our winner is…. Mel_Gibsons_Beaver_Puppet, who proved to be more than just a clever schtick.  From the Racist Olsen Twins Tip an African-American Saxophone Player with Chicken:

Mel_Gibsons_Beaver_Puppet says: HEY BOOGER TITS!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU DANCE LIKE PIGS IN HEAT!!!!!!!!!!! IF YOU GET RAPED BY A PACK OF SAXOPHONE PLAYERS IT WILL BE YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks, MGBP.  Email me to collect your shirt.  And now for the honorable mentions:

From The Hangover 2 has a poster:

Farthammer says: Bradley Cooper f*cked with the wrong monkey. Doesn’t he know those things use 90% of their brain at one time? It’s like they are on those pills 24/7.

Slow clap for the well-timed Limitless references.  Pour a 40 out on the ground because that’s probably the last funny Limitless reference anyone’s ever going to get.  From Michael Bay’s Angry Birds might be funny if it weren’t true:

Ace Rimmer says: Modern Hollywood is basically a Happy Meal queefing a Dreamworks face, forever.

That is true.  From Darren Aronofsky refutes reports that Natalie Portman isn’t a real ballerina:

Stone Soup says: Next you’ll be telling me Nic Cage isn’t really a Sorcerer with a flaming head and something really important to tell the president.

It was the “something really important to tell the president” bit that did it.  I think Andy Samberg stole that for this week’s SNL.

I don’t really know how to explain my reference to a “gravyplane” in this post, but rest assured this callback was funny:

Fek’lhr says: (*The Mighty Feklahr sets down His gravyplane…His monocle clinks to the ground*)

So you see, there’s this commenter whose schtick is to impersonate a Klingon from Star Trek and speak in the third person, and he made a joke about a gravyplane, which was itself this fictional thing that I had made a joke about– really, just take my word for it.

And finally, from Justin Bieber will play young Ashton Kutcher in a Will Smith film:

Jacktion! says: Speaking of Will Smith, I heard he’s giving his unborn child a leading role in Fetal Attraction.

It wouldn’t be FilmDrunk without a groan-worthy Jacktion! pun.  The bigger the groan, the better the pun. That’s just how it works.

As always, nominate for next week’s Comments of the Week in the comments section below.  Otherwise, someone will say something really funny and I’ll just forget it.