Damn, remember when Year One was considered a big flop? That had a $20 million opening weekend. Your Highness just opened in sixth place at $9.5 million (on a $50 million budget). And it had two Oscar nominees and Natalie Portman’s bare ass in the trailer. (Maybe she should’ve shat jelly beans?) Go figure. On the plus side, I liked it, so my streak of being completely out of touch with the rest of society remains unbroken. I may go torture a hooker just to see if I’m still capable of empathy. Nope, didn’t work. Anyone have a moist towelette?
But it was pretty grim all around, as is to be expected when a jelly-bean sh-tting CGI bunny is the number one movie of the weekend two weeks running (and just behind Rango for the biggest opening of 2011). This weekend last year had three movies earning more than $20 million (two more than $25). This year, Hop earned $21.7 million for the top spot, leaving Arthur‘s $12.6 million a distant second. It just goes to show you, Americans love Russell Brand, but they hate Russell Brand. Rounding out the top five were Hanna ($12.3), Soul Surfer ($11.1), and Insidious ($9.7), which has now earned $27 million on a $1.5 million budget. It has to be seen as a victory for… uh… whatever the hell Insidious is about. Oh, it’s about a creepy little kid? How original.
Elsewhere, Cedar Rapids, in its ninth week of release, played on just 118 screens (in contrast to every movie in the top ten, which all played on more than 2,000), 92 less than last week. Because God forbid a sweet comedy with universal appeal be allowed to play a flyover multiplex. Not when we’ve got unnecessary remakes and 3D bunny poop to foist! Quick, add a fat suit! Vajazzle these aliens! MORE RECORD SCRATCH!
(*using dead coyote as ventriloquist’s dummy*) “Chaos reigns.”
| Film | Weekend | Per | Total | |
| 1 | Hop | $21,696,000 (-42.2%) | $6,000 | $68,152,000 |
| 2 | Arthur | $12,605,000 | $3,848 | $12,605,000 |
| 3 | Hanna | $12,323,000 | $4,861 | $12,323,000 |
| 4 | Soul Surfer | $11,100,000 | $5,014 | $11,100,000 |
| 5 | Insidious | $9,740,000 (-26.6%) | $4,026 | $27,097,000 |
| 6 | Your Highness | $9,520,000 | $3,438 | $9,520,000 |
| 7 | Source Code | $9,050,000 (-38.9%) | $3,046 | $28,619,000 |
| 8 | Limitless | $5,692,000 (-38.8%) | $2,144 | $64,380,000 |
| 9 | Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules | $4,885,000 (-51.3%) | $1,696 | $45,462,000 |
| 10 | The Lincoln Lawyer | $4,600,000 (-32.6%) | $1,901 | $46,455,000 |
[via CHUD, BoxOfficeMojo]
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I could tell Your Highness wasn’t going to make money when I walked in fifteen minutes late for the movie and still had my choice of seats this weekend. It had some laughs but it was pretty meh. I didn’t hate it though so thats a victory right there.
I liked Your Highness. I wish it had done better so more R rated comedies would get made.
You’d think that they could sell Cedar Rapids based on the fact that Ed Helms was in The Hangover and The Office, and people love those things. You know, aside from the fact that it’s great and Ed Helms is so adorable that he deserves his own Parry Gripp song.
I think every Russell Brand movie’s target audience is young males age thirteen to twenty-one who hope against hope that Katy Perry’s boobs will make a cameo. Instead, we get Helen Mirren and jelly bean poop. Son of a bitch.
I don’t think they marketed that movie the right way. There was way more action then I would have ever guessed from the trailers.. I really liked all of the special effects, I thought they were done in suck a way that they did not come off as hacky at all but acutally in a way that made the tale seem very believable. The animatronics were very very cool too.
You’d think movie producers would have a bigger hand in lobbying for decriminalization of marijuana, because if it was readily available, this movie would’ve grossed more than Titanic. But, by the same token, Avatar would have grossed more than the GDP of Canada.
by the same token
What you did there, I see it.
And it had two Oscar nominees
I derive a deep sense of schadenfreude from this new development; Oscar winners, let alone nominees, don’t sell tickets anymore.
Some blame it on reality TV, and the dumbing down of our society in general, but I see it as more of a byproduct of this stupid culture the media has created for themselves.
Let’s face it, the entire Oscar process is like grading on a bell curve. They’re stuck with handing those things out every year, regardless of whether or not anyone actually deserves one. It’s not like they’re comparing nominees to past winners. Rather, they compare them to their contemporaries and thus lower the bar in effect.
So even if every movie made in a given year was a remake, reboot or prequel, and even if every actor out there was a vapid stoner masquerading as an intellectual (Franco), or a pretentious Bohemian cunt (Portman), the Academy would still be forced to pin a ribbon on the shiniest turd they could fish out of the shitter.
Basically, what I’m trying to say is “it’s you, Hollywood, not me”.
I was supposed to see Your Highness this weekend, then plans changed and I saw The Lincoln Lawyer instead.
It was great, shockingly great. Then again, I might be overrating it because it’s the only grown-up thriller I’ve seen all damn year.