Created by pulp writer Johnston McCulley in 1919, Zorro was famously a Spanish nobleman living in colonial California who used his aristocratic sword and horse skills to defend the common folk against corrupt officials while tagging his initials all over sh*t, like a swarthy Robin Hood meets Banksy. But obviously in Hollywood’s latest reimagining, Zorro Reborn, Zorro will be DARK™ and GRITTY®. So how do you make an imperialist swashbuckling ladies man dark and gritty? Why, by turning him into Mad Max, of course.
Unlike many of the previous Zorros (real name: Don Diego de la Vega) brandishing whips and swords, the hero of the new installment will live in the future — specifically a desolate and post-apocalyptic one, according to a person familiar with the film who asked not to be identified. A Fox spokeswoman declined to comment.
Can’t we just combine this with the Brad Cooper-Crow remake and C-Tates’ Peter Pan and create one mega-stupid über tentpole?
In this version, Zorro will be less a caped crusader for justice than a one-man vigilante force bent on revenge, in a western story that has echoes of both Sergio Leone and “No Country for Old Men.”
“The new Conan the Barbarian will have echos of Days of Thunder and Fast and Furious, in that Conan is now a racecar-driving bounty hunter.” PS, how the f*ck is a “caped crusader for justice” any different than a “one-man vigilante force?”
The movie will be directed by Rpin Suwannath, a previsualization specialist who worked on a number of the “X-Men,” “Matrix” and “Chronicles of Narnia” movies. (Previsualiation is the Hollywood art of conceiving and generating images, usually for an effects-driven movie, before filming has begun. Visual-effects specialists are hot generally, with Fox recently setting the viz kid Tim Miller to direct “Deadpool.”) [LATimes]
Yeah, because that’s what separates the great action movies from the bad ones: …graphic design. No really, I’m sure this will work out great. Just look what happened last time we let a respected graphic artist adapt a pulp comic from the 30s.
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Mark Decascos’ triumphant return, no doubt.
I would be hundreds of times more interested in a movie about a “Previsualization Specialist” named Rpin that I am in a film made by a previsualization specialist named Rpin.
Yay, ANOTHER TYPO! The streak lives on!
Screw Rpin, I’m a master previsualization specialist in that I can already tell this will suck horse knuckles.
I’m just gonna assume this would-be director spends his weekends LARPing in character as a paladin named Bill Smith.
Don’t go trying to steal my shtick, gerGue! Typing like a crooked fingered dipshit is mine!
Shit Vink, don’t be a pessimist, look at what that craft services chick did with Eat, Pray, Love.
wasn’t the vigilante in No Country for Old Men the bad guy?
In this version, Zorro will be less a caped crusader for justice than a one-man vigilante force bent on revenge, in a western story that has echoes of both Sergio Leone and “No Country for Old Men.”
I understand the “No Country” part, but what would echoes of Sergio Leone be? Can ghosts even produce an echo? Wouldn’t it just be “oooo” So, does that make this movie Zorrooo? If they make a sequel, would they call it 2orrooo? And with that, I’ve officially given this more thought than any of the actual parties involved.
Quick, we need a caped one man vigilante crusader!! WHY?????
They Rpin errybody out here!
Clearly Hollywood is trying to one-up Asylum studios by making the ridiculous rip-off of their own blockbuster the blockbuster itself.
The only way to make a Spaniard dark and gritty is to turn him into a Mexican.
No Call Center For Old Men
Ooh, I wonder if he’ll be ruggedly handsome and have a sexy, leather-clad love interest.
Also, robots.
“how the f*ck is a “caped crusader for justice” any different than a “one-man vigilante force?”
so they’re making batman spanish? what’s next? a jesus allegory for superman?
Meh, spend any time living in the dumpster behind the Save-Rite in Silver Lake you become quite familiar with the desolate and post apocalyptic.
I’m looking at you, Rpin. Hands off my fucking shopping cart.
Unrealistic, Spaniards are too lazy to be vigilantes or do any type of work really. Unless of course you give them a ride in your pickup and give them at least $8 an hour and stop for microwavable noodles for lunch at 7-11.
“Aw, Christ…” No, he marks his foes with a cross!
This has me thinking though: It’s 2040, the world is a smouldering husk, mutants fought raptors for the right to sugar packets. Jesus returns!
“Hello? Guys? Anyone here to save? No?…. Damn.”
I bet that the Crow remake and the new Peter Pan are the genesis of this post-apocalyptic hellscape.
Following the success of Zorro: 2 Xtreme 4 da Thunderdome, the studio plans to produce a new version of The Sound of Music where the Von Trapp family is re-imagined as a lone werewolf dead set on avenging the death of his canine mother at the hands of nazi zombies reanimated by the power of song.
I just hope, for Vince’s sake, it has a bit of realism.
We have a dark and gritty version of Zorro its called Batman.
Visual-effects specialists are hot generally
Pics or GTFO.
“how the f*ck is a “caped crusader for justice” any different than a “one-man vigilante force?”
Duh… the cape.