It’s always nice to hear an outsider’s perspective on things you take for granted — case in point, Tommy Edison here, the Blind Film Critic. The poor bastard was born without the ability to appreciate the beauty of one of Lights Camera Jackson‘s Hawaiian shirts, but that doesn’t keep him from going to movies. Edison recently took in a screening of Scream 4, which he didn’t seem to like much, which isn’t that surprising because it sucks. You don’t need functioning eyes to hear Anthony Anderson shout “DAMN!”, unfortunately.
“This movie’s great, there are segments four or five minutes long, where no one’s saying anything, it’s just music, sound effects, screaming… There are giant holes in this plot! How do you have a movie where no one says a word?? One of the most difficult movies for me to follow.”
You think anyone has told him that the title is actually “Scre4m?” That would probably blow his mind.
[via Buzzfeed]
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All I got from this review was, “Blind people, stay home.”
Who goes to see a horror movie without being able to see the tits? He should be provided a woman who jiggles in front of his hands when it happens on screen.
Who would have thought that the visual component plays a large part in a horror film.
When asked her opinion of Scre4m, Helen Keller had this to say: “hrmphh mmrhph hrmmmmm”
Helen sounds like she should take that dick out of her mouth.
I’m still waiting to hear from The Mute Film Critic.
I bet he’s really into aural.
One of the most difficult movies for me to follow.
Finally, someone agrees with Vince’s review.
One of the most difficult movies for me to follow.
Also what Wes Craven said.
Tommy Edison’s mind was blown by The Jazz Singer. He’s been told that Jews in blackface are very offensive.
“I can’t decide whether to give this a ‘B’ or a ‘D’ … I can never ‘C’ a movie.”
If I were blind, I’d be pissed that this guy makes youtube videos instead of a simple podcast.
If he doesn’t like a movie where a whole five minutes go by with nobody saying a word, he should just go to a Spike Lee movie.
This video would’ve been better if they did that “have him face camera two, but shoot him with camera three” thing that’s so popular with talking head segments these days.
I’m sick of this jack-off whining in each and every one of his reviews about the 2-D giving him a headache.
As a critic I wonder if he gets free admission.
As a blind man I wonder if he gets half price admission.
You could do the old dick in the popcorn trick on this guy and not even use any popcorn. That’ll save you like 8 bucks.
As a horror buff I’d like to know what he thought of Nosferatu.
How does this guy even know he was in a movie theater? “Music, sound effects, screaming…?” He could have been in any Denny’s.
A Klingon Guy Reviews Scre4m: Forshak! BONG!!!!!
Safe to say he’s not looking forward to 5CREAM, eh?
True story, Lights Camera Jackson gave the Celine Dion concert movie, or Celine: Through the Eyes of the World, a B+. True Grit, on the other hand, got only a B.
Am I a bad person for wanting to see his review of a movie with deaf people in it