See what I did with that headline there? Pretty clever, right?
Over the weekend, Hollywood once again learned the hard way that no one wants to remember the 80s, as Take Me Home Tonight, which looked like a more pandering version of Adventureland for dumb people, actually earned less than Adventureland. Wow, I did not see that coming. Earning $3.5 million at 2,000 locations, it didn’t even crack the top 10. If there’s a lesson to be learned here, it’s that maybe don’t name your movie after a song that was in a Carl’s Jr. commercial 15 years ago. It just sounds like a bad roast joke. “I don’t want to say your movie was generic, but it’s named after a song from a Carl’s Jr. commercial from 15 years ago.”
Elsewhere, the Johnny Depp-voiced Rango took home the top spot with a respectable $38 million. I saw it. It looked great but was a chore to sit through, the same reason I eventually stopped dating high school chicks. Overall business was down 32 percent from the same weekend last year, which is to be expected given Alice Wonderland opened last year, but worrisome considering February movie attendance hit a 15-year low. I hate to point fingers, but this probably had something to do with Cedar Rapids being the only February release that was worth a hobo’s dick cheese. Why the f*ck is that only playing on 235 screens again? Is it so more people can see Just Go With It and Gnomeo and Juliet? Or Big Momma’s House 3, perhaps? I never thought I’d say this, but we seem to have reached a point where people are actually less stupid than Hollywood thinks they are.
| Film | Weekend | Per | Total | |
| 1 | Rango | $38,000,000 | $9,701 | $38,000,000 |
| 2 | The Adjustment Bureau | $20,945,000 | $7,375 | $20,945,000 |
| 3 | Beastly | $10,115,000 | $5,182 | $10,115,000 |
| 4 | Hall Pass | $9,015,000 (-33.4%) | $3,056 | $27,001,000 |
| 5 | Gnomeo and Juliet | $6,912,000 (-48.4%) | $2,316 | $83,694,000 |
| 6 | Unknown | $6,620,000 (-47.3%) | $2,273 | $53,129,000 |
| 7 | The King’s Speech | $6,501,000 (-11.4%) | $2,902 | $123,817,000 |
| 8 | Just Go With It | $6,500,000 (-38.3%) | $2,226 | $88,200,000 |
| 9 | I Am Number Four | $5,702,000 (-48.2%) | $1,964 | $46,440,000 |
| 10 | Justin Bieber: Never Say Never | $4,325,000 (-53.9%) | $1,919 | $68,876,000 |
[via CHUD, BoxOfficeMojo]
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OH FUCK THEY PICKED UP CEDAR RAPIDS AT THE SYCAMORE 12! BBL!
Careful, ‘Toph, you’re in danger of being the least successful That 70′s Show alum. Kunis is it, Ashton’s got that Nikon money, Valderrama still pulls hot tail, and Danny Masterson just DJed Jeffrey Katzenberg’s daughter’s Bat Mitzvah.
Fuck you WordPress. *Kunis is killing it.
I didn’t get to see ‘The Adjustment Bureau’, but I got to move a dresser this weekend.
How do you parody an era that was so well documented by cinema in the first place? My 80′s memories will be anchored with Phoebe Cates’ boobs and C. Thomas Howell drinking deer blood. Thanks. BOYS. AVENGE ME.
I hope Michael J. Fox reconsiders the title of his upcoming Parkinson’s documentary, Shake It.
I liked the Adjustment Bureau when I saw it the first time, back when it was called Dark City.
The Mighty Feklahr can explain the “Take Me Home Tonight” flop, look at th ebanner pic. There’s a fat guy in it. Fat guys ruin everything.
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forever alone
I think the problem is that everybody’s still so pissed at a Topher Grace character inexplicably getting Laura Prepon for all those years that they’re actively rooting against him to get the girl this time.
If that had been Jay Baruchel instead, the movie would have at least cracked the top ten.
Why did that movie have to be about the 80′s? If they just made it modern, people might have cared a little bit.
Fek, he’s not just a fat guy, but he’s a very unfunny fat guy. Hollywood keeps trying with him, but he’s awful.
I’m surprised at all the good reviews Rango is getting, because it looks reeeeeaaaaally annoying.
We still don’t have Cedar Rapids, but seeing as it’s ACC tournament weekend, I can hold out a little longer.
The chick in the video for the Eddie Money song always made me wonder if she had a really good personality.
Rango had potential. It looks fantastic and the voice acting is pretty good. Unfortunately, the story was a lot like Pirates 3 in that it was nonsensical, silly, ultimately pointless, and worst of all, overly complicated.
Agreed, it needed more THC influenced scenes and less of everything else!
sandler is gonna pass 100 mil… again…
Flop Alert is what your mom yells before flashing guys at Spring break.
I figured as much. The animation looks cool, but the jokes make it seem like something that only little kids would enjoy.
And I’m still wary of any animation that isn’t Pixar.
I actually can’t imagine kids enjoying it.
As the owner of a small child I can tell you kids will watch anything that is animated.
More kids movies need to be terrifying as shit. Those are my best childhood memories. I couldn’t tell you for sure how the fuck sleeping beauty fell asleep, but I still get night terror boners for the Secret of Nimh.
It’s official: Vince and Gore Verbinski are acid and base. I saw Rango and enjoyed it, as did my three kids. Doing an animated comedy for kids that is also a Western is a tough gig, and I think it did a pretty good job in that regard. I’m just shocked that the local PTAs aren’t up in arms that a little kid puts a gun in her mouth in the movie.
Dude, what the fuck was the point of that chase sequence? It was like 20 minutes long. That was worse than the pod race. Not to mention the entire thing didn’t have a point.
“What’s this about?”
“Uh… water rights?”
The setup was very enjoyable. I’ll give it that.
How long until we know which movie got the #6 spot?
The chase was definitely gratuitous, and ultimately seemed like they just wanted to rip off the Road Warrior.
I get it that water rights is kind of a boring McGuffin, but they were in the desert, after all. Every Western seems to either come down to revenge or resources, be it oil, gold, water, cattle, land, etc.
I guess I’m grading on a curve because I went with my kids and expected a kids movie, but we had a good time.