Today’s announcement of a Blade Runner remake is probably going to be the nerd-rage story of the day, but I’m having trouble mustering the requisite outrage. I’m just surprised it hadn’t happened earlier. Much more recent Philip K. Dick remakes have already been announced (like Total Recall with Colin Farrell), and with producers constantly making comparisons like “the Blade Runner of Monopoly movies” (I’m not making this up, though I wish I was), this was inevitable. INEVITABLE, I SAY!
The production company behind the Sandra Bullock hit “The Blind Side” is looking to bring the world of “Blade Runner” back to the big screen. Alcon Entertainment is in final negotiations to acquire the prequel and sequel rights from Bud Yorkin, who was an executive producer on the original film.
The 1982 cult classic, directed by Ridley Scott and starring Harrison Ford, was set in a future where man has created clones called replicants who are used for dangerous work. When they rebel on a space colony, replicants are banned and hunted down.
“This is a major acquisition for our company, and a personal favorite film for both of us,” Alcon principals Andrew Kosove and Broderick Johnson said in a statement. [THR]
Blah blah shrugwank. As it would turn out, my favorite part of this entire story was the accompanying picture of producers Kosove and Johnson:
Forget Blade Runner, I want to hear more about this, the heartwarming, real-life story of an ogre’s unlikely friendship with a jockey. With the ogre’s size and the jockey’s nimble, clever hands, they form the perfect team on a quest for the village’s tastiest apples.
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Tom Cruise needs to hire the guy on the right to follow him everywhere. Also to wrassle.
Will they make it less boring?
Masterblaster can stay the fuck away from this.
The little guy could stand on his tippy toes and suck the giant’s nipple.
How’s the weather up there?
Rain. *spit*
Next on their target acquisition list: the rights to Twins.
I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe…small white men not being eaten by the guy from The Green Mile.
I keep imagining the little one coming out of the big ones abdomen like Quatto.
So is there any way to get American Idol and Chik-Fil-A to do product placement? If there’s any chance that the Blade Runner Curse still works, I want them to get a piece.
Bartertown Multiplex must be running low on snuff films.
You’re changing that replicant’s lahf
Not to get all spazzy on you, but they’re not doing a “remake”. Prequel/sequel only.
Which makes my violent rage slightly less murderous.
The headline of the source post said “Reboot.”
I guess that proves that “reboot” is one of the stupidest, most meaningless words used in Hollywood. Like “dignified”.
Having only seen Blade runner for the first time recently I can unequivically say that no scene in the “Reboot” will ever live up to a woman trying to kill Harrison Ford with her vagina.
Why ? Why ?
Why ?
,