Here we have the trailer for Attack the Block, opening this Spring in the UK (no release date set in the US yet), which is basically Shaun of the Dead, but with aliens instead of zombies, and a group of black kids instead of Simon Pegg. (Think of how much Run Fatboy Run could’ve been improved using the same method!)
The story is, aliens attack a housing project in South London, and the street kids who live there (including Frost, who plays a drug dealer) have to fight back. It looks promising, mainly because there was a kid with this haircut, and it was nothing short of a revelation:
Is that… a sideways brohawk? That is… incredible. That is the new coolest haircut of all time. Friends, I write a popular movie blog. I wear fashionable clothing. I use only the freshest colognes and body sprays. I generally like to think I’m pretty cool. But I know one thing for certain, and that’s that, as cool as I might be, I will never be “sideways-brohawk” cool. Aw, man. I just got really depressed.
[via Empire]
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Lince, you will always be “sidearm bro-pump” cool at the circle jerk.
Aliens? Maybe. Black people with British accents? NO WAY!
It’s called a Gumby haircut. Bobby Brown practically invented it.
DAMMIT! NOW I’M EVEN LESS COOL!
(*starts cutting*)
A movie called “Attack the Block” with no urban dancing and unintelligible black kids? C-Tates is going to need the entire day to comprehend this
South London topiary. There’s not a lot of green space left, he’s lucky it’s not a duck or a dinosaur.
Whipped it back. Needs to go forth, now.
Hilarity ensues when the aliens return to their spaceship only to find that their rims have been stolen.
oh shit was that some fucking parkour I saw in that trailer? I can’t wait for this!
Did Vince voluntarily begin a conversation about hair?
*cracks knuckles, loosens fingers*
Nice that they refer to black kids as “the deadliest species in the galaxy.” I’m guessing England hasn’t picked an official black history month yet.
True story: Sideways was originally supposed to be called Sideways Brohawk. Way to puss out, Giamatti.
/Franz Drameh? Franz Drameh:
[www.youtube.com]
I’m guessing that Nick Frost won’t jokingly drop the n-bomb in this one.
@GBHA–are you saying the trailer *lacked* unintelligible black kids? Because I need a glossary and subtitles for that shit.
C-Tates is getting revenge on England by remaking The King’s Speech as MC Stammer.
Aliens, or Ali Gs?
[Crappy emerges from chimney. Begins frolicking and dancing. Loses footing and tumbles onto street below. Luckily his fall is broken by a fish monger, this is not so lucky for the fish monger]
SON ova Bi…
[begins reshaping sideways brohawk into diagonal brohawk]
Hilarity ensues when the aliens demand ‘take me to your leader’ and the kids have to explain that he left to get a pack of smokes 4 years ago and they haven’t seen him since.
[Puts, Durst by Filmdrunk, back into pocket]
’nuff o’ that.
By the time the battle is just getting warmed up in the South London projects, the French have already developed bed sores from laying down for so long.
Regarding the Gumby haircut: Steven Seagal invented it shortly after Charlie Sheen traveled back in time and whispered the idea into his ear.
*Safe falls from sky onto head*
I think if a the live action “reboot” of Metalocalypse ever gets made Charlie’s a lock for the Dr. Rockzo part.
“I DO COCAINE! C-C-C…”
*Takes a bow, shoots self in face with shotgun*