Just this morning in my post about awesome posters from Africa, I referenced how awful the last batch of posters for X-Men: First Class were. Now we have some new ones, and against all odds, they’re EVEN MORE TERRIBLE! I didn’t think it was possible, but here we are, with another pair of vignette-y-face-over-silhouetted-image posters that seem to shout, “Hey! Remember Street Fighter?”
The answer of course is NO! Of course we don’t remember Street Fighter! Not even Chris Klein remembers Street Fighter and he was high on cocaine! Seriously, poster guy? A floating head inside a silhouette? How long did that take you, five? Six minutes? What, were you being chased? Take some time, man! Wait, do you get paid by the poster or by the hour? Because I’m pretty sure I could crank out a few hundred of these in an afternoon:
[originals via ComingSoon]
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-smaug-poster-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/only-god-forgives-poster-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/Trance-movie-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/latest-movie-trailer-for-filth-starring-james-mcavoy-red-band-150x150.jpg)
If they did one for Kirstie Alley, her face would just be on an all black background.
OH! I’m so there for LobsterDog: First Crabs!
Before he was douche bag steve he was just douchebag
Holy crotchface!
I totally disagree. I’d really enjoy a movie about a dude in a wheelchair that’s pregnant with James McAvoy. It sounds touching!
I don’t know what I have against James McAvoy but I almost instantly hate him on sight. Same reason I didn’t bother to see ‘Wanted’ and I won’t bother with this abortion
OK, here’s your chance for the ultimate Michael F. Assbender photoshop: Silhouette the Last Airbender and place his face on that.
I’m emitting pre-seminal fluid in anticipation of the XXX-Men: Fist Ass poster.
No. There is no way these were done by a professional. They had to be done by a fanboy with a bootleg copy of Photoshop and online tutorials.
Finally, my aunt and uncle’s portrait-in-a-champagne-glass wedding photo is back in style!
Even Julie Taymor hates these posters, though she had a hard time articulating why.
I think these posters are just foreshadowing the fact that every last one of these characters is actually just a host for Kuato, for the Total Recall-X-Men crossover that fans have been demanding for years. You know, a soup-to-nuts reboot of the two franchises.
Stinky, she wants them to turn off the dark silhouettes.
I thought “Auto Fellatio Manatee” was in turnaround…
@Jack: No, that’s not it….
These need more Tom Skerritt.
F’this, I’m gonna go club some seals.
The marketing for this pile of junk is all wrong. No one gives a shit about those two dorks. What part of “Betty Draper’s cleavage” do they not understand?
Mutants derive their powers from the floating heads that exist where their balls should be..I thought everyone knew that.
Also: bet I Draper.
Belated International Women’s Day wishes, everyone!
Also, Crappy:
Two baby seals walk into a club. BOOM! BOOM!
These poster designers are actually just clever procrastinators- they do the least amount of work possible on the posters and wait until Matthew Vaughan is doing lines of coke off of Lauren Donners ass to pitch the designs.
Looks like Xavier’s got a little Xavier on his Xavier.
DICKFACES