Sean-Connery

In today’s supercut, we take a look back on a bygone era of cinema, a time not so long ago when the obvious solution to a woman crying, shouting, pouting, dallying, grinning, gossiping, talking, knitting, having her period, attempting to make eye contact, or presenting your sandwich without the proper deference, was a firm slap across the mouth.  It was a simpler time, when this wasn’t considered abuse.  In fact, she’d usually thank you for it, provided she had a little class.  So why did our video editor, Oliver Noble (read: NOT ME, LADIES) put together such a supercut?  Why, in honor of Women’s History Month, of course.  Frankly, it seemed a little off color to me, but he says it’s to celebrate our progress, since this is no longer considered acceptable.  At least, that’s what he said before he started huffing paint thinner from a bag and calling his girlfriend the C word.  Guy’s got problems if you ask me.

(Keep your eyes peeled for The Gipper, at the 28-second mark, feeding some broad a metacarpal sandwich, future-president style).

The full list of films includes:

Red-Headed Woman (1932)
Unknown
Unknown
Contempt (1963)
Night of the Living Dead (1968)
Father Goose (1964)
Unknown
The Killers (1946)
A Face in the Crowd (1957)
Unknown
Mr. Lucky (1943)
Belle de Jour (1967)
The Godfather: Part II (1974)
The Getaway (1972)
Out of the Past (1947)
Blazing Saddles (1974)
Adam’s Rib (1949)
Possessed (1947)
The Night of the Hunter (1955)
The Public Enemy (1931)
Opening Night (1977)
Hoi Polloi (1935)
The Big Sleep (1946)
Airplane! (1980)
Le Doulos (1962)
Diamonds Are Forever (1971)
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969)
From Russia with Love (1963)
Goldfinger (1964)
McLintock! (1963) – 2 clips
Chinatown (1974)
Charley Varrick (1973)

He left a couple unknowns in there, so I had to slap the piss out of him for his shoddy research. He may not be a woman, but he sure cries like one.

[Oliver would also like to direct you to this video, for a more gender-neutral look at people getting slapped].

And of course, there’s the famous “Shometimesh they jusht have to have the lasht word” Sean Connery clip.