Don't worry, y'all. I found this T cell.
Professional shirtless bongo player Matthew McConaughey is the latest Hollywood leading man attached to Dallas Buyer’s Club, a drama centering around a protagonist with AIDS. Make me a batch of frownies, LA Times:
The movie tells of Ron Woodroof, a heterosexual Dallas electrician who was diagnosed with AIDS in 1986, during some of the darkest days of the disease. Doctors gave him just a few months to live, but he refused to accept their prognosis. Instead, Woodroof created a smuggling operation for alternative treatments, then illegal, and got them into the hands of as many AIDS patients as he could. He wound up living six more years and saved or prolonged the lives of countless others.
Jesus, that guy sounds awesome. He was dying of AIDS and was STILL smuggling illegal drugs across the border and getting them to other patients like some sort of modern day, sickly Robin Hood? Yeesh. In a related story, one time I wrote a paper when I had a sinus infection. WHERE’S MY BIOPIC, TINSELTOWN?!
Here’s my favorite part about this movie: Someone somewhere thinks it’s plausible for Matthew McConaughey to play an AIDS patient. The six-foot tall, bronze Adonis with the flowing hair and perfect pecs. As an AIDS patient. Riiiiiiiiight. In the history of civilization, no one has ever looked less like an AIDS patient than Matthew McConaughey. There had to be other actors considered, right?
In 2008, the project seemed to get new life when reports had Ryan Gosling coming on to star, with his “Lars & the Real Girl” director, Craig Gillespie, behind the camera.
“Hey girl, I only got into smuggling because I thought they said ‘snuggling.’”
via Screen Junkies
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Probably too much to ask that McConaughey’s gone Method, huh?
Pretty sure Ron Woodroof from Dallas is the character he played in Dazed & Confused. “I get older, they stay the same AIDS.”
Magic Johnson looks less like an AIDS patient than MM. Does having the HIV not count as AIDS? Whatever, doing prostate exams in the back of my van doesn’t make me a “doctor.”
McCon would have to be the coolest movie star to hang out with, right?
“The six-foot tall, bronze Adonis with the flowing hair and perfect pecs.”
I usually just call him the fruity guy from Texas, but I’m not going to judge you.
Can 50 cent play white?
I bet Lindsay Lohan could play one helluva AIDs patient.
[Arms flapping wildly, Crappy flies up, and alights on the arm of the couch]
In the “darkest days of the disease,” filling your ass with green play doh while shooting lemon juice into your eyes was considered an alternative treatment.
How to Lose a Guy in
10 Days6 YearsAnd Tommy Morrison just said he was looking for a new acting gig too
If Sacha Baron Coen gets HIV for the Freddie Mercury biopic I may forgive him for Bruno.
I thought that was a picture of McConaughey vacationing in Japan.
Speaking of, that tsunami hit Japan fast and furious, making Tokyo drift.
Just get Bale to shoot the pre-AIDs chapters right after Batman 3, and then apple a day him to a stick for the AIDs portions, duh. Come on, body morphing = ACTING!
Too much Contact from having so many Boys on the Side results in AmistAIDS. U-571.